My BALLHYPE Ranking Sucks Balls...

*Note to our contributors:

Okay guys, our BALLHYPE Ranking sucks Balls right now. We are currently at a 923 ranking. That means that 922 Sports Blogs are better than TheSportHump. Blogs that talk about the Toledo Mudhens, NAIA Swimming at the College of Charleston and Wilkes University Skeet Team are kicking our ass right now.

After looking at our nonsensical site and flapping through pages of mustache cronies, crappy beer reviews, horrible 80's sports montages, misspellings and moronic sports knowledge, we should really think over what we want to place on this blog. Since a couple friends, co-workers, Drunk Uncles and dudes from Thailand are the only people who read this, maybe we could focus on something relative to our base. Maybe we could talk City Hoops leagues? I don't know, but we have to maneuver fast and shake things up.

Here are my thoughts:

• Athletes and their Cats

I think everyone loves Cats and we could interview these athletes and maybe create articles for Cat Fancy or Fuzzy Love magazines. We could talk about all types of Cats and Sports. Think about it?

• Athletes that come from broken homes

Some of these athletes didn't grow up on Wisteria Lane and have a Mom and Dad at home. Maybe we could do "Family Pieces" on folks like Ray Lewis and Pacman Jones and show the love that is spreading through their veins while being Dad at Home.

• Edible Arrangements

Maybe we could just blog about our favorite thing in the whole world.....Edible Arrangements. I think this is the way we should go. Everyone loves Edible Arrangements and I am sure, frequent them quite often. This may be it and I hope EA catches on to us.

This Blog is suppose to be Hard Crackin Sports Madness for the Masses. I would love to walk around town with a "My BALLYPE Ranking is #67" Shirt, but right now we can't. Get off your High Horse everyone and start drumming up some interesting topics, or I will have to pull the plug on TheSportHump. We are all college educated and have decent jobs. We should not let a bunch of JUCO slouches clean up shop here. Don't settle for mediocrity!

Did you see that Giambi's stache is thinner than last time?

Today is SportHump Day...Why don't we do the Humpty Hump?

It's the first SportHump day heading into the College Football weekend, so we will keep it on the football tip. As the Yankees slowly fade out of the playoff picture, I have now completely passed on the rest of the baseball season..Sorry Lou

I actually appreciate the GROB tops the coaches Hot Seat list. We get no PUB from anyone in the College Football world, so maybe he can be our way to reintroduce ourselves to the community?

Okay, non-football related. A 24 hour wiffle ball game and I wasn't invited?

Final Score 935 - 514

Wear the Greg Robinson Farewell Tour T-shirts this weekend and support the Silver Fox!

I still need proof to see that Sean from TNIAAM has a Day Job? I'm not buying that he managers the Non-Fiction section at his local library. On the radio here, Live Blogging there, Midget Tossing here?

Maize N Brew lists 15 players to be excited about at Michigan since the departure of the one man wrecking Ball, Mike Hart.

The Orange Squeeze list the Ups and Downs of the Orange. Not seeing many Ups? Do we have any Hot Cheerleaders this year?

Axe chats up Northwestern Head Coach PFITZ...(A Midwestern AROB)...A special appearance from the Thundercats....Not to be confused with Thunderpants. *My nickname in college

Something Good actually does come out of the SEC...and Shout at the Devil

Epicurious Gets All "Highbrow" With Canned Beer...

As we tried to honor and salute the amazing portfolio of Shitty Beers, Epicurous Magazine takes it up a few dozen six pack's with the Elite of Canned Beers. Mentioning the Progressive Beer Mongers's guide to Beerastocracy with the likes of Sly Fox Pikeland Pils paired with a Ham and Sweet Onion sandwich. How about a Young's Double Chocolate Stout with Berries and Ricotta Cream?

Sounds almost prudish?







Heading into Pigskin season I will stick to a delightful Miller Light 20oz draft in a Frosted Mug, paired with a serving of OIP Chargrilled Wings. Maybe I will have a bucket of Coors Light's with a Philly Cheese Steak, sans mushrooms. We like shitty beer because it serves a purpose....! When I am in front of a Big Screen or sitting in the stands at the game, Wild Berries and Nevent Ricotta Cheese don't really mix into the whole scene, correct? If I want to get beat up by a couple Frat Dudes maybe, but not for me. *Plus Wild Berries are horrible to get off Mesh Jerseys.

The HumpIdiot Countdown rolls into the Top Five

The first time I saw Don McPherson play was at the West Virginia game at the Dome in '87 against Major Harris and company. We went up there with our Modified football team (probably wearing Mesh practice jerseys and starter Jackets). I just remembered being overwhelmed in that Dome and thinking I was sitting in the Roman Coliseum. Boy have things changed.

Don McPherson really kicked off the athletic, versatile pass attack the Orange rode through the Mcnabb era. He was an amazing athlete ad unbelievable play maker.

Well, here is the rest of the list the Idiot's have been putting together right up until this weekend's kickoff against Northwestern:


The Complete List:

4. Don McPherson (87)
5. Tim Green (77)
6. Rob Moore (65)
7. Tie: Marvin Graves and Joe Morris (60)
9. Tie: Daryl Johnston and Donovan Darius (45
11. Kevin Johnson (36)
12. Keith Bulluck (35)
13. Dan Conley (34)
14. Walter Reyes (31)
15. Qadry Ismail (23)
16. Robert Drummond (21)
17. Scott Schwedes (20)
18. Tie: Art Monk and Chris Gedney (17)
20. Kevin Mitchell (13)

Best Adult-Orientated (Porn) Names in College Football

While checking out the football pageantry down in the "Dirty South" aka SEC/ACC country, I was amazed by the names of some of the Athletes, coaching staff and associates of the football programs. Not to say we don't have a lot of contenders up in the Great White North, but it's always funny seeing the names that appear on the back of uniforms below the Mason-Dixon.

So, for all you Jack Hammer's, Daryl Dangler's, and Mike Rod's of the college football community......This is for you!

Here are my top 5 Adult-Orientated (Porn) Names in College football~


5~Houston Nutt (Head Coach/Ole Miss)

















Houston Dale Nutt was born on October 14, 1957 in Little Rock, Arkansas, United States. He is the son of the late Houston Dale Nutt, Sr., and Emogene Nutt and is the oldest of four children. Nutt graduated from Little Rock Central High School. His parents taught at the Arkansas School for the Deaf at Little Rock, Arkansas for 35 years. His father also served as athletic director and head basketball coach for the school. His father was inducted into the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame in 2001. During his childhood, Houston and his brothers were daily members at the Billy Mitchell Boys and Girls Club in Little Rock.

Houston Nutt's wife, Diana, also graduated from Oklahoma State University. They have four children together: Houston III (1987-03-11), twins Hailey and Hanna (1988-09-26), and Haven (1991-03-19).

Nutt's brother Dickey Nutt was the head basketball coach at Arkansas State University until he announced his resignation on February 19, 2008. His brother Danny Nutt was the running backs coach at Arkansas. Nutt's other brother Dennis Nutt, a former NBA player, is an assistant basketball coach at Coastal Carolina University.

WWE Finishing Move-The Nutt Buster

4~Scott Love (Punter/Louisiana-Monroe)

Scott Love is a Sophomore Punter for the Warhawks. Love Averaged 42.1 yards per kick this past season. He set the school record last season with 23 punts inside the 20 yard line. He ranked 17th in the nation, thanks in part to 11 punts of 50 yards or more.

WWE Finishing Move-The Love Shocker



3~Jermaine "Big" Johnson (Offensive Lineman/Auburn University)






















Former five-star OL recruit and Auburn signee Jermaine Johnson hopes the third time is a charm. After failing to qualify academically the last two years, the 6-foot-6, 310-pounder is not giving up. Johnson originally signed with Auburn in 2007 out of St. Thomas Aquinas in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., but had to go to Hargrave because of academics. We spoke with Johnson about his academic situation now, his time spent at Hargrave, when he hopes to report to the Plains and much more inside.

WWE Finishing Move- The Big Johnson Face Splash

2~Joe Cox (Quarterback/Georgia)


Backup Quarterback for the Georgia Bulldogs

2007: Played in six games going 5-of-15 passing for 56 yards and a TD
*Recipient of The Leavy Family and the Brunswick News Publishing Co. Football Scholarship
*Saw action in the fourth quarter vs. No. 18 Auburn but did not attempt a pass
*Completed 2-of-3 passes for eight yards vs. Troy
*Made one pass attempt at Tennessee
*Made one pass attempt vs. Ole Miss
*Threw six passes completing three for 38 yards and on TD vs. W. Carolina
*Completed 7-of-8 passes for 156 yards and one TD in G-Day game
*Listed as number two QB at conclusion of spring drills

WWE Finishing Move-The Cox in a Box


1~Casey Dick (Quarterback/Arkansas)

The 2007-2008 football season is Dick's junior season. Pursuant to Mitch Mustain's transfer to USC, he had no "real" competition for the quarterback position. Some fans were critical of Dick after throwing key interceptions in conference losses against Kentucky (2), Auburn (1), and Tennessee (2), but he held his starting job despite a brief run from backup Nathan Emert. On November 17 in a home game against Mississippi State, he threw a career high 4 touchdown passes and completed 14 of 17 attempts for 199 yards, earning him his first SEC Player of the Week honors. On Friday, November 23rd, Dick led Arkansas to a 50-48 win over top ranked LSU, in which he made key passes to Peyton Hillis on a fourth-and-10 in the second overtime to extend the game and again for a 12 yard touchdown to tie.

At the close of the year, Casey Dick held third place in Arkansas school history for touchdown passes with 35 behind Matt Jones with 53 and Clint Stoerner with 57. He finished the year with a QB rating of 129.67, good enough for fourth in the SEC.

WWE Finishing Move-The Flying Dick Scissors

Van Chew on this...Somewhat of a Renaissance man we have here at wideout!

We have a new favorite player for the Syracuse Orange and his name is Van Chew. Looking at TNIAAM's starting grid, Chew is mentioned at the wide out position. With a name like Chew, I hope he makes some noise this year with the Orange.

While checking out this Chewy, I noticed some of his unique talents. As a former, horrible stand up comic, I saw "The Chew" man himself work the Microphone down in Louisiana during right after the Hurricane. Joking of course..

Check Chew out:



Now check out the horrible comedy of yours truly, Danny Carberry (Poncho Sinatra)..


You soon start to realize your talents after many O' years of making an ass of yourself. And, just think...People actually paid me to do comedy in world class venues such as:

1. The Chenango Valley Holiday Inn
2. The Silo in Deposit, NY. (Yep, it was a Barn)
3. The Elks Club in Oswego, NY (AARP convention. Seriously)
4. Hotel Syracuse
5. Multiple Birthday parties
6. My Mom's basement
7. Lake Ontario Playhouse (opening for Jimmy Fallon..I know right?)
8. Some other Barn near Albany
9. SUNY Binghamton
10. Penn Sate
11. Lippy Lizards
12. Comedy Works in Albany

So, good luck to Chew on his football venture and leave the comedy to the professionals.......maybe more like NAIA Division 3 Regional runner up Open Mic at Teddy's

Glenn Fry apparently is not playing in Evanston.

Not that Glenn Fry would have played the season opener in Northwestern this weekend, but it would of been wicked awesome in a wickedly awesome way.

Coach Greg Robinson has not made a decision on running back yet:

Syracuse head coach Greg Robinson said Sunday he has not made up his mind and may not pick a starter until 11:57 on Saturday or about 3 minutes before the scheduled kickoff in Evanston, Ill.

I say start the game without a running back? Open in a spread and don't put a running back in to start the game. You could then put in Brinkley, Carter or Hogue and they would be coming off the bench...! Why not name a starting running back for the entire season? We could really confuse the scouting on our offense. Maybe next year (or three games into this season) after GROB is gone, Dr. Gross can hold off on naming a Head Coach of the team. I say we also hold off on naming our opponents next year until kickoff......Okay, enough.

On the other hand, our defensive side of the ball should be ready for Northwestern running backs...They apparently know how to handle themselves:

Via: (JS Online)

Former Northwestern Back Kicks some Ass

Former Northwestern running back Noah Herron fought off intruders during a burglary to his Village of Howard home, striking one with a bed post that he unscrewed from his bed last weekend.

"Noah Herron used necessary, reasonable and justifiable force in protecting his life and property. Herron, the victim in this random home invasion, is cooperating with law enforcement and we ask that you respect his privacy during this traumatic time," said Brown County Sheriff Dennis Kocken.

The intruder was injured during the May 30th burglary and a second offender was apprehended outside the home by Brown County Sheriff's deputies, according to information released by the Brown County Sheriff's Department today. Herron was not hurt during the invasion.

Herron reported to police about 11:19 p.m. that he heard glass breaking in the lower level of his home and indicated that an unknown number of intruders were inside the residence.

Stolen property and a vehicle were recovered in the vicinity of Herron's residence. The property is believed to be stolen that same evening from a residence near Herron's.

Neither suspect has been officially charged. One is still hospitalized and another is being held at the Brown County Jail on unrelated warrants and a probation hold. The investigation is ongoing and the two suspects are being questioned in numerous burglaries and home invasions throughout Brown County, authorities reported today.

Herron, who is 5 feet 11 inches tall and weighs 218 pounds, is a four-year veteran from Northwestern. Herron was primarily used as a running back and kick returns.

In a prepared statement, General Manager Ted Thompson said the Packers were aware of the incident and said the team had spoken to Herron.

"We support Noah, and ask that his privacy be respected," Thompson said. "Noah and the Packers will have no further comments on this matter."

Another One-Legged Hooker Slain....Can we put a stop to this?

Via:(New York Post)

One-Legged Hooker Slain

A one-legged hooker was killed in Brooklyn after a john hit her over the head, causing her to fall backwards out of her wheelchair and slam her skull against the wall, cops said yesterday.

Elizabeth Acevedo, 38, was found lying unconscious on the floor of a hallway on the 13th floor of a building in the Wyckoff Gardens houses in Boerum Hill on Thursday morning.

The handicapped hooker, who lived in the building, was taken to Long Island College Hospital, where she died yesterday morning after being removed from life support, police said.
Acevedo - who lost her leg in a train accident - had a rap sheet with 67 arrests for prostitution and drug charges.

She wore a prosthetic leg, but also used a wheelchair.

Investigators believe she had been servicing a client in the hallway who then hit her on the head with a heavy object. Police were still looking for a suspect.

TheSportHump....Pigskin Eats: Mitch Browning Dry Rub Beef

As we head into my favorite part of the year, Football season, I figured I would post some of my favorite tailgating recipes on TheSportHump. I have been throwing down on the flames at tailgates all over the country for years and have led a few Pig Roasts in North Carolina, judged Wing competitions in Buffalo and ventured in a few "Rib Cook Offs" in Memphis...

Hope this will help everyone get a few ideas for their next tailgate and enjoy Real Simple, Hearty Grub leading up until kickoff. I thought I would keep it simple with this tasty Beef Rub recipe. Since Mitch Browning likes to keep the offense lean, sharp and efficient, I figured one of my simple rub recipes would work well in the Browning System.

Mitch Browning Dry Rub Beef

Ingredients:
3 tablespoon firmly packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1 tablespoon yellow mustard seeds
1 tablespoon whole coriander seeds
4 cloves garlic
2 pounds beef top round steak -- 1/2 inch
vegetable or olive oil
salt

Place sugar, peppercorns, mustard seeds, coriander seeds and garlic in blender or food processor; process until seeds and garlic are crushed. (You can do this the night before and hold up to 12-24 hours.) Rub beef with oil; pat on spice mixture. Season generously with salt. Lightly oil hot grill to prevent sticking. Grill beef on covered grill over medium-low briquettes 16-20 minutes for medium or until desired doneness, turning once. Let stand 5 minutes before cutting across the grain into thin diagonal slices. Makes 6 servings.

Shitty Beer Pairing: Utica Club

Previous SportHump Pigskin Eat recipes:

Max Suter Slingshot Wings

Meet the Captain....He will Commadiere our Defense. (Hopefully)

According to Donnie Webb, Jake Flaherty has been named one of the captains for the Orange Football team. Jake started every game last year for the Orange and is the leader of a young, inexperienced linebacker crew. In 2007 Flaherty was named The ESPN the Magazine/CoSIDA Academic All-District Team selection. I have no idea what that award is, but congrats to the Big Guy. Jake seems like a pretty cool dude. I had a friend of mine meet him at Scotch N' Sirloin last year and he signed his nephews hat and apparently took a couple photos with them. I almost didn't put a stache on him, but he is the Captain, so Stache is mandatory.

I also heard Kirk Herbstreit say on ESPN Gameday Preview that....

I didn't realize Syracuse still had a Division 1 football team anymore?

He was asked about the Orange chance this year in the Big East to make any noise. He is slowly moving into Doug Gotleib territory, then I realized he still lives in Ohio. What do you expect right?

On the nothing to due with sports note. Meet Larry Sanger, the Guy who invented Wikipedia...







The Bastard got his Ph.D. in philosophy from Ohio State University in 2000. Wonder if there is A Herbstreit connection? I also wonder if Larry ever gets laid? Can you use that line out at Da Club or in the shady bar?

Hey I'm Larry and I invented All Existing Knowledge through a neat online medium where it is changing the world as we know it? Do you like Captain and diet coke?




I continue to question the extremely touchy-feely sport that is High School Wrestling.



Via:(WIVBTV-Buffalo)

WEST SENECA, N.Y. (WIVB) - A former West Seneca teacher is facing up to seven years behind bars after pleading guilty to engaging in a sexual act with a minor.

34-year-old Anthony Harper is a former French teacher and wrestling coach at West Seneca East middle school.Harper admitted to engaging in oral sex with a 13-year-old male student.
As part of his plea deal, he resigned from his job in the West Seneca district.


*Never mix French and Singlets together, it will always turn out this way

.....Comsi Comsa?

Read With Caution.....!

*The only good thing about this is that it happened in Connecticut.

Via:(Connecticut Post)

STRATFORD — A member of the Bunnell High School wrestling team was arrested yesterday for allegedly sexually assaulting another member of the team during a practice session.

The 16-year-old boy, whose name was not disclosed because of his age, was charged with one count of fourth-degree sexual assault.

He surrendered to police, accompanied by his father, after learning there was a warrant for his arrest.
The boy was released after posting $1,000 bond, pending arraignment in Superior Court.

The charges are based on an incident last December during a wrestling team practice session at the school.
The 17-year-old victim was wrestling with another teammate, police said, when he allegedly heard the defendant tell his opponent to pin him to the mat.

While the victim was pinned on his back, police said, the defendant approached, bent down and exposed his genitals in the victim's face.

The victim managed to free himself and went to a water cooler to rinse out his mouth, declaring, "That was disgusting," according to the police report.

The victim was initially reluctant to report the incident, police said, but later came forward after other Bunnell students learned about it.

Police detectives later confronted the defendant, and while he contended he made a "gesture" that may have appeared his genitals had contact with the other wrestler, he claimed he didn't actually do it.

I was never a big wrestling fan, maybe because of the closeness of body parts. Our contributor Lou Score was a great High School wrestler and I had a lot of friends that chose it over basketball. I do not recall any moments on the hardwood where our genitals were having inappropriate contact.

TheSportHump Beer Review: MolsonXXX...The Porn of Malt Liquor

Heading into the summertime, along with the sound of crackin' Louisville sluggers, the smell of pine tar and women wearing those beautiful sun skirts, nothing is more gratifying than grabbing a cold one out of the igloo on a hot summer day. Since I (Poncho Sinatra) spend my days in the food and beverage development business, I figured I would add some critiques of the most popular American draughts across the country. I will not segregate premium ales, nor inferior lagers, just a straight opinion on what is on your shelf at the local grocer, dive bar or convenient store.

Behold the XXX from our Brethren up North:

I first time I indulged a Triple X when I was 19 during an expedition to Niagara Falls with a few buddies so we could utilize our Legal Age up in Canada. I specifically remember seeing Three X's on the bottle and said, "I want that!" With a 7.3% Alcohol rate, this Molson product will punch you in the nuts if you're not careful.

This beer is actually a Malt liquor, contrary to much belief. You will see no thuggery sporting these black bottles around town pumping some Lil Wayne in that Escalade. This beer was popular with Snow, the 90's rapper who sang the fastest rap lyrics in the history of Hip Hop.....INFORMER.

The Product:

XXX Pours medium gold and clear. Minimal head and carbonation. Smell is somewhat like sweaty Mesh Shorts, metallic, Industrial? Taste is immediately alcoholic and quite grainy in a really bad way. It's as if I was going to crack a bottle of Listerine and quickly get to gargling because somebody took a dump in my mouth. Oddly enough the aftertaste is not as brutal as one would guess due to all the graininess. Mouth feel is watery, astringent, lame. Drink ability is nil, I wanted to pour this down the drain almost immediately after opening and fip off Canada

If there is a ghetto in Canada, this is what the kids are drinking in the hood.

• According to Poncho Sinatra,"A favorite of Many O' Mounties."
• According to Mark,"Where is Canada?"
• According to Kenny from Kenny's 2 Pennies, "Garfields owner should stop eating Lasagna."

TheSportHump Grade

c

See all the SportHump Shitty Beer Reviews here..


Get Informed with Snow...LIkeyBoooomBooooomDownnnn

Obama gets Rick Rolled

I pretty much love everything Rick Astley. I wish Rick would show up more in the World of Sports. Here is Rick teaming up with some random black dude.

Riding them down...HumpIdiot Style

The Three Idiots are continuing the countdown of the Top Twenty Orangemen of the HumpIdiot era. This list really dumbed me down when it came to how many people we left off it...ie. Tim Lane(well, not really HumpIdiot era I guess). Wonder how many of Orangemen off this year's team could potentially make a Gen Y'er list in the next twenty years? Maybe a dashin Max Suter or our Ginger Hope AROB?...Only time and Boones Farm will tell.

I completely left off Daryl Johnston. I believe it was his Post Orange stint with the Cowboys that may have muddled my brain while making the list. Moooooooose! I remember seeing Darius in the Dome stalking out people in Pre Game warm ups. He would be all Warren Sapp, running through the other teams stretching routines, rabble rousing the troops and causing mayhem leading up until kickoff.

Here is the complete list so far:

9. Tie: Daryl Johnston and Donovan Darius (45)
11. Kevin Johnson (36)
12. Keith Bulluck (35)
13. Dan Conley (34)
14. Walter Reyes (31)
15. Qadry Ismail (23)
16. Robert Drummond (21)
17. Scott Schwedes (20)
18. Tie: Art Monk and Chris Gedney (17)
20. Kevin Mitchell (13)

Coach Charge with Mooning Umpire...proceeds to head to Denny's right after for "My Hammy"

Via:(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)

A Fayette County youth baseball coach is facing a disorderly conduct charge for allegedly "mooning" an umpire during a game last month.
State police at Uniontown said Jeffrey Kelley, 32, of Fairchance will be charged via summons in the July 26 incident.

Police said Kelley was coaching a baseball game at the Liberty Street baseball fields near Fairchance in Georges Township and got into an argument with an umpire over another coach being dismissed from the game. Police allege Kelley "pulled down a portion of his pants at the umpire."

Trooper Douglas Rush said the entire incident was visible to the youth players and their parents. The summons will be filed before McClellandtown District Judge Randy Abraham.

I think this tactic should be used more in the Big Leagues. Imagine Sweet Lou Pinella or Joe Torre droping "Trous" during a tirade.