"You got a little chubby goin' there"...Syracuse denies Michigan State transfer due to weight issues

Syracuse University denied the application of Greg Himmons, a junior offensive guard for Michigan State, due to health issues associated with his weight. The Junior guard played in 5 games during the 2007 season before being sidelined by the Spartan training staff. Himmons is 6'4 365 pounds, and has had weight issues throughout his tenure with the Spartans. He was benched for entering a Whataburger eating contest last summer while in training camp and was also suspended for a game for lewd conduct during a recent Spring Break trip in Panama City where he was seen naked passed out in a kiddie pool at a local hotel.

The original fatty himself, Tony Siragusa used to enter chickin wing contests while with the Ravens

"We're very disappointed in the position we find ourselves in, Gregs's an outstanding, talented young football player, and if he presents himself in the best physical condition is a chance to play college football for Syracuse, but currently that's not the case," Athletic Director Daryl Gross said.

"We've been working with Greg for some 15 months, we've even assisted him by presenting him with a personal trainer for over a month, over and above the training the squad gets, so significant investment has gone into this student athlete, unfortunately when we take that support away Greg falls into habits that don't suit a division one football player," Michigan State Athletic trainer Gary Stoth stated.

'I will buy a cock, for my cock fight in the morning'....Mets Pitcher Pedro Martinez at a cock fight

I didn't know Pedro Martinez was into cocks?





Go Mets!

"Dude, John came in wearing an Adio jacket and skater shoes today and he doesn't even own a skateboard"

Ahhh, to be a poser! Takes me back to my youth renting a surfboard at Cocoa Beach with my pasty white skin!

A prep football player who had claimed he was duped into believing he was recruited to play at a Pac-10 school admitted Wednesday he made up the story. Holy Shitballs, that is fantastic! Ballsy, but absolutely fantastic!

Kevin Hart, a 6-foot-5, 290-pound offensive lineman for Fernley High School, offered a broad apology in a statement he issued through the Lyon County School District. Hart said he had wanted to play football at a Division I school "more than anything."

Signing Day showGet the scoop on where all the best high school football talent is headed. The experts from Scout.com break down the biggest Signing Day moves, with reaction from coaches and recruits. "When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I made up what I wanted to be reality. I am sorry for disappointing and embarrassing my family, coaches, Fernley High School, the involved universities and reporters covering the story," Hart said





Neither California, Oregon -- nor any of the handful of other college football programs mentioned by Kevin Hart -- had offered him a scholarship. In fact, some of the schools he mentioned had never put his name into their databases to send players recruiting literature. Again, so ballsy it's incredible.

Wednesday is Hump Day. Let's hump!

"Man, gimme summa that colt 45!"













If you're not a dead communist, you might enjoy the Idiots game preview....Three Idiots wearing jean shorts


Got Dick?.....Troy Nunes is an absolute vodka

More reasons to hate all Boston sports teams...Orange44


I didn't realize Donte Greene was Jewish?....Cuseadelphia


When will women's college basketball just end for Christ's sake???...Awful Announcing

I knew it Tom, I just freakin knew it.....!

Here is what I did on my Super "Fat" Tuesday.......

Every Tuesday, my co-workers and myself head out to Best Buy to check out the new releases, go to the market for any necessities, usually pimp juice, and then to Subway for their Tuesday special: a footlong sub for $3.99 before heading back to the office for lunch. That my friends is my Super Tuesday

No matter what he says, he is not my doppleganger!......Do we have a flying Belgium Waffle or ANDY RODDICK?

He is definitely no Andy Roddick, but I'd date him anyways.

My cousin Stephanie, Jan 08









The Truth....


Prior to attending Syracuse University, Ongenaet played for the junior college San Luis Opisbo (CA) Cuesta College. Ongenaet averaged 10.3 points, 12.3 rebounds and 3.1 assists per game as a freshman with the Cougars. In his sophomore season, the 6-foot-8, 220-pound forward, averaged 12 points, 11.7 rebounds and 3.8 assists per game.

He was named to the Western State Conference first team after helping Cuesta to its first post-season berth since 1999. The Cougars were 17-16 overall and 9-3 in the conference, good for second place. Ongenaet leaves the Cuesta program ranked first in career rebound average (11.9) and second in career field goal percentage (.597).[



Not the truth...
In 2001, Andy Roddick became the youngest player to end the year in the ATP Top 20. At Wimbledon that year, he showed his potential by taking a set from eventual winner Goran Ivanisevic prior to considering playing basketball at Syracuse University.




No, that is not Andy Roddick there on the right...the white guy










Roddick's breakthrough year was in 2003, and many consider his 2003 Australian Open quarterfinal versus Younes El Aynaoui to be his breakthrough match. Roddick and the Moroccan battled for five hours, with the fifth set being one for the record books. The 21-19 set in favor of Roddick was the longest fifth set in a Grand Slam tournament during the open era, at 2 hours 23 minutes. (This was beaten in 2007 during a Wimbledon men's doubles second round match, when Brazilians Marcelo Melo and Andre Sa beat Paul Hanley of Australia and Kevin Ullyett of Zimbabwe in a 3 hour 5 minute 28-26 fifth set.) Both players maintained exceptional unforced errors-to-winners ratios and high quality of play even at the closing stages of the match.

Scoop Jardine, Coach Boeheim and Dr. Gross going old school in this video

Don't send a lame Starring You! eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

You're just not viking enough." --Plaxico Burress

Plaxico stated today that "his teammates remind him of vikings conquering all that is in front of them!"

Here is the New Giants promotional video for this Sunday........

Yeeeah, we're going to need you to lose the game on Sunday

Question: Can you talk about what your relationship is like with Tom Brady and how instrumental has that been to the team's success?

Belichick: Well, I'm glad Tom's our quarterback. I love Tom. He's a great player and he's been a great leader for us. Did I tell you that I love him? He does so many things for our football team on and off the field and he's been a tremendous competitor, tremendous player. So privileged to be able to coach him, to love him, and have him on our team, and we meet on a regular basis, a couple times a week and I really I mean, I enjoy coaching him, enjoy loving him. He's a terrific player, especially to love.




Old Billy is really showing some Manlove for his guy eh?








The superbowl media are like ravaging hyenas at these events. I wish we could have some of these people called out for all these stupid ass questions, maybe send them to Thunderdome when it's really bad! TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVES. Because there is nothing interesting to report on the upcoming game of touch football, those poor writers of the Main Stream Media hope and beg for some player to say something that sounds somewhat insulting, and gregarious to some of the opposing players and coaches. "Rodney Harrison is a member of Hammas!

This quote is what they got out of semi-thuggish wide receiver Plaxico Burress:

"We have guys that can go out and do things just as well or maybe better than some of those guys," he said last week.
Wow, you have guys that can do things just as well or maybe better than some of those guys? (emphasis ours) Well, that is basically true by default. It is true, for example, if Plaxico Burress does something as well as the worst wide receiver on the Patriots. A harmless little statement, basically saying: "we have some pretty good players too." No big deal, unless you are the MSM. Then, you make stuff up, and put it in the headlines.

I like this though.....

FireBillBelichick.com

Quantum Physics is difficult........We make our first game prediction -Syracuse vs. Depaul

Here goes...........

Syracuse scores more baskets than Depaul and wins the game!

Syracuse men ask Depaul if they wouldn't mind running just half court

After having is roster reduced to just seven healthy/available scholarship players, Boeheim went on with - three freshmen, two sophomores, a junior college transfer and a walk-on - in the latest 71-64 victory over Providence College this past Sunday at the Carrier Dome. Syracuse (14-7 overall, 4-4 Big East) desperately needed a win this Sunday. A loss would have left the Orange with a 3-5 conference record with six of the last 10 regular season games on the road and Scoop-Gate to deal with.

"We're as short-handed as you'd ever want to be," Boeheim said. "We've never even been close to this. We've never lost more than a player in a year. It really sucks balls actually, excuse the language"

Syracuse doesn't have 12 players, including walk-ons, on its entire roster for to nights matchup in Chicago versus Depaul. So, what do you do? Jim Boeheim asked the Depaul basketball team if they would like to run just half court for tonight's game. "I feel that with our limited resources, we should run just half court and keep it simple tonight," stated Boeheim from telephone in Chicago. "I would even run some three on three and maybe end it with a round of horse if Depaul was up for it."

The last time a college basketball game was played half court was back in 1923 when Lafayette college beat the Bucknell Bisons 34-33 on Billy Mchilehey's last minute shot.


Those Bucknell Bisons wound up losing to Princeton in the semifinal round of the collegiate basketball championship. Mchileley (pictures 2nd from right) mastered the half court game with his patented triple threat position which allowed him to dribble, drive or pass. The remaining members of the team (from left to right) are Billy Mcgannagan, Robin Mclaharey, and Scotty Mcirishlad

Yo dude, use this scoop shovel remove El pero poop from my yard!....Orange Women score more points than Depaul

A note from a Depaul faithful........




The Shirt Off My Back
Posted 10.05.2003 by Mudd (64)
I come from a family of shitters and farters. In my family, it's almost a religion. In our youth, my brother and I would bet on things; instead of betting money, the loser would have to read to the other guy while he shat in the bathroom. We were that serious. I'd like to share one of my tales and hope it will serve as inspiration.
My wife and I were driving home from a fabulous dinner at her favorite restaurant. It was the dead of winter, silent, cold. We were halfway home when that familiar tugging in my stomach began -- the load was on its way and was not to be denied! I considered farting to buy a few more moments, but this was loose mutton... butt pee. I'd been in this situation before but this pile was angry and there was no negotiating. I knew I could wrestle with it for only a few minutes while I made plans for its dismissal. Making it home was not an option.

To my wife's horror, I blazed into the parking lot of the local high school, eyeing an unsuspecting snow bank that looked suitable for the assault that was about to occur. I feverishly began digging in the snow like a mad dog. With no time to spare, I ripped down my pants, closed my eyes and blasted my liquid loaf into the snow bank.

Shock & Awe.

My wife claims I disappeared in the steam, and all she could hear was me muttering with pleasure. As my swollen manhole sputtered, I realized I had nothing to wipe with. I thought about my grandpa and father and wondered what they would have done. It then became clear. I stood up, took off my sweater and used my favorite DePaul t-shirt underneath to clean off the filth. With tears in my eyes, I buried the tee shirt and went home.

I would pass the spot almost every day, and in the early spring I could see my beloved tee shirt lying in the grass. Weeks went by and it remained undisturbed. Finally, I retrieved my shirt, washed it, and went on to wear it until it died of natural causes.

-- Mudd

Dude, I could totally be playin' in the NFL right now if my high school football coach didn't hate me.........Sports journalists ask some dumb shit!

I now understand why Ryan Leaf wanted to Diamond Dallas Page sports reporters!





Let us set the record straight, we are HUGE sports fans here at The Sport Hump....We also realize they are sports, and that little kids play these games and we watch sports for entertainment, that's it.

How many times have you been watched a pregame interview and saw a reporter ask an athlete, or coach "Do you think you can win the game today," or "what are your chances for a win?" What the friggin hell does that mean? Seriously, you have a degree from Newhouse asking that dumb shit? Do sports reporters continually ask this benine questions in the fallacey that the athlete will say "No, no I don't think we can win today, I think we might get blown out. We will probably get our asses whipped by those dudes over there. But we are going out there anyway for the bling and hot ladies we will see at the club later." Stupid, Stupid shit ass questions every single day, night and morning!


Watch "Around the Horn" sometime on ESPN. What a bunch of nut crunchers arguing about absolutely nothing, and old white dudes, ie. Woody Paige throwing around Pop Culture references.. Oh and Mel Kiper!!!??? If we ever here, "When you talk about blallalblablalblallabla!"

Skip Bayless is without a doubt, the most annoying person in all of national sports broadcasting. Unlike other douches, who just show blatant biases towards a team or person (I'm looking at you Dick Vitale/Doug Douchelieb), Bayless has never met an athlete or team whom he couldn't tear an ass. ESPN's newest special should be Skip Bayless taunting lions at the San Diego Zoo, only with Skip handcuffed and and a raw steak strapped to his groin.

Stephen A. Smith, calm down a bit broheim! Seriously, chill, enjoy a muffie from Panera Bread and read a highlight magazine. Mike Greenburg never got laid before his senior year in college, Jim Rome could only play tennis and soccer, Woody Paige is an ugly mofo, Doug Gotlieg stole credit cards, and Dan Patrick lives in a dream world.

Oh, and Chris Berman? He's Cool!

Local Blogger is pissed off

Local Blogger, Dane Turks of Cuseragous.com is pissed off at the folks at Three Idiots on Sports for monopolizing certain stats that don't allow other bloggers to break down game statistics. Turks alleges that the breakdown of the Syracuse Orange loss to the Georgetown Hoyas gives no chance for other bloggers to break the game down. "WTF?? I mean they must have been up in that game to be able to break that shit down so much. They are freakin good, like that Ferris Bueller dude in Wargames. Who are they MC Hammer? I have never seen a game broke down that bad since the Nova-Cuse game of 05,"

Here is a breakdown of what the three idiots stated........

* Syracuse took it to Georgetown and beat them up on the boards, out rebounding them by 10. Syracuse was as aggressive and physical as they've been all season.

* Jonny Flynn carried the team for large stretches of the game - without his play in the first half, the cuse is down 15 at the break and the game is over.

* Arinze missed those 4 crucial free throws and the put back in OT, but it's still hard to be critical of him, he played 41 minutes and played well, he controlled the boards pulling down 13 rebounds.

* Kristof! the Belgian Waffle gave them some good minutes in the first half and even scored 4 points.

Turks just wants a chance to give an honest assessment of a Syracuse game, and he didn't realize so many local bloggers were going Mel Kiper on game stats. "These guys literally hit it and quit it on these game stats. I get done watching the damn game and Troy Nunes or CuseDelphia have got the whole shit broken down already."

Outside of blogging Turks is a Night Supervisor for the Nice n' Easy grocer in Tully. He enjoys Hens, horseshoes, woodland creatures, WWE,friday night racing,hunting rabbits,skoal bandit,route 66 clothing,carhart coats,women that know their role and Spike TV.

I dropped a piece of hemp rope at McDonalds and made sure I flushed twice. Three days later, a Big Mac is born.

From our brethren @foodchainmonthdaily


In Effort to be Hip, McDonald’s Considers Offering “McPoetry” Readings in New Coffee Bars

McDonald’s is slowly revealing details of its new coffee bars to open inside its 14,000 U.S. units. The company said today that to compete in the crowded coffee house environment, it will invite local poets to perform live once a week in what they are calling “McPoetry” readings. “We feel our product needs to offer consumers everything they have come to expect at some of the trendier coffee bars,” said a McSpokesperson. “We think McPoetry will provide the coffee-house experience consumers want,’ he added. The burger chain said it will censor the poetry prior to the performance and encourage the authors to incorporate some sort of Golden Arches branding into their poem. “I’m not a creative person, but surely it can’t be too hard to weave in something about our Angus burger or Happy Meals,” said a V.P. in charge of the project. “They’re free to perform whatever they want as long as it ties into the brand,” she added. McDonald’s said they are also working on “


Now if we can stop having them eat all the burgers, they could read a Haku without burping or breathing heavy!






Mailman Not Exactly Looking Forward to Receiving $5 Red Lobster Gift Cards Again This Year
Parma Ohio mail carrier, Dennis Anderson said he’s not thrilled about the prospect of receiving more Red Lobster gift cards from the people on his route again this Christmas. The 13 year veteran postal worker said in a statement “I know it’s the thought and all, but c’mon. Enough with the Red Lobster cards. Just give me the five bucks for Chrissakes.” Part of Anderson’s disappointment comes from the fact that the closest Red Lobster is 15 miles away and he’s allergic to shellfish. “They know I can’t eat shellfish. I’ve told them. Two years ago I wrote each an every one of them a thank you note saying ‘Thanks for the gift card, but I can’t eat shellfish.’ Know what I got the next year? Red Lobster gift cards.”



McDonalds....The Rap

"I took a slice of cheese"..."Haha seriously? Cause I took a bun! Haha".......New Mexico to tax videogames!

Just the other day we were wondering about how Wisconsin wanted to add a tax on videogames because of the kid obesity problem. Now, thanks to GamePolitics, we’re hearing that New Mexico wants to really make this happen. Videogames aren’t the only target of this new tax though. TV sets will also be targeted in this 1% sales tax proposal:

"

We believe it is such a nominal tax that consumers won’t feel it too much, especially if they are educated about where that money goes," said state Rep Michael Casaus of New Mexico

So who’s to blame for all of this? fatties?. Or rather, The Environmental Alliance of New Mexico and the Sierra Club. They believe that this would raise about $4 million a year and it would go to funding programs for school kids for outdoor education and not let them play Halo, and World of Warcraft for 20 hours per day and become a good lil fatty.



We blog here, so I assume a lot of people think we are nerdy fatties with nothing else to do. (I was actually the winner of the presidential physical fitness challenge my 5th grade year, and that is on record!!) New Mexico is literally going to "Tax dat Ass".



The Entertainment Consumers Association (ECA) has now issued a statement in opposition to the New Mexico tax:

The Entertainment Consumers Association (ECA) is opposed to the legislation proposed by the New Mexico Sierra Club. It’s unconstitutional to target video games with a special tax that would unduly burden gamers, leaving out other forms of entertainment media like movies, music and books.

This proposed tax would also stifle trade and disproportionately impact generations X and Y, who are increasingly becoming more politically aware and vocal. Whatever that means?? I have a friend that lives in New Mexico and he basically summed it up by saying this, "New Mexico is two things....Dust and porn shops"!

I will leave it at that!

He is very talented with his tounge......Bloggers with real talent, while I am here faking it

2 Scoops of Jardine. Is he crazy whack funky?.....CuseAdelphia

Apparently Champ doesn't like Al Davis's old ballz...Three Idiots on Sports

Chicken Noodle Soup for the Paul Harris Soul.....Troy Nunes is a bankteller


Nick thinks he would be a kick Ass Dad..... Nick's 2 Cents

Get Krunked UCONN!......Orange44

Who has the hottest cheerleaders in the nation?......State of the Orange

Eli Manning's letter to the devil.....Food Court Lunch


Cheryl Cole is pretty much awesomely hot???.....with leather

Mark Mangino in the hospital? That guys is in perfect shape????.....A pudge is a sandwich

Erich Crouch ripping it up in the AAFL???? WTF?.... Still Football

Dude, did you steal those shorts from the girls' locker room or John Stockton?

10 reasons why we miss John Stockton

1. Wardrobe. Stockton has been sporting khaki pants,short shorts, a golf shirt, short shorts, a windbreaker, short shorts and sneakers his entire friggin career. Classy "Freddy" Stockton

2. Go white boy, go white boy go! After Stockton broke Magic Johnson's career assists record in 1995, Stockton was icing his knees in the trainer's room while media members waited for him. As Jazz public relations staffers pleaded with Stockton to come out for interviews, Stockton said, "Aw, let Karl (Malone) talk to them. He's the one who scored all the points, and I am just a short white dude in shorts that are barely covering my homeboys."

3. When Stockton was drafted, Jazz broadcaster Rod Hundley had him on a conference call. Fans did not like the pick and booed. When Stockton asked if they were booing him, Hundley said, "No, they're saying, `Who?'"

4. When the Jazz put up a banner counting down to the assists record, Stockton asked that it be taken down.

5. Family. Before Jazz home games, Stockton's kids are on hand near the Utah bench to wish their dad good luck. All the Mormom highbrow are there as well, rooting for Stockton to have more kids and add a few debutant's.

6. Always on time. Depending on the Jazz's situation, Stockton can make two minutes seem like two seconds, or an eternity. Also see, Danny Ainge.

7. Always on time, part II. He is one of the few players who, when playing defense, keeps his eye on the 24-second clock above the opposite basket. Nerd!

8. Underhandedness. The Kings' Bobby Jackson says, "I get the ball at the top of the key, and he is bumping and bumping and grabbing the whole time. He gets away with a lot of stuff I know I can't get away with." It's because he is white!

9. Picks. Stockton sets fierce ones. Remember when Dennis Rodman was suspended in the 1994 playoffs for planting a knee in Stockton's hip? That followed a Stockton pick.

10. Picks, part II. Remember when the Rockets sent tapes of Stockton to the commissioner's office in the 1997 playoffs? Again, the picks.

"Yo man, thats the cracker u lookin' for? Let's jump him!"............5 guys playing on the court at the same time

The year was 1984 and the Celtics fielded 5 white men on the basketball court....At the same time! Until this year, thanks to the Toronto Raptors, it has been 24 years since an NBA team has had 5 white boyz from one team on a basketball court. I do see progress, and their is still hope! Wonder how many layups versus dunks showed up on the stat sheet that game?

That old guy has some crazy rooneybrows happening on his face...............Tom Brady's foot cast will speak to Mike Wallace on 60 Minutes

In an exclusive interview, the Tom Brady's footcast will speak to Mike Wallace and 60 minutes regarding their appearance together this past week. Many reporters and journalists have been inquiring the extent of their relationship and 60 minutes have paid the footcast to speak to a national television audience immediately following this weeks superbowl.
The two recently appeared in NYC's West Village walking to Tom's supermodel girlfriend Giselle's swank apartment. The footcast has denied any rumors that he was in fact "supporting Tom's ankle" and recently signed on to set the record straight with CBS.


Brady acknowledged he’s a bit nicked up but will be ready to play against the New York Giants come Super Bowl Sunday in Glendale Arizona on February 3rd.

“There are always kind of bumps and bruises,” Brady told WEEI’s Dennis & Callahan Show. “I’ll be ready for the Super Bowl. I’m not missing this one. I’d have to be on a stretcher to miss this one. There will just be some treatment this week and like I said, games like this you get a little nicked up but it’s nothing serious.”

Brady (seen to the left) has seemed mentally and physically ready for this weeks game, but did not comment when he heard his footcast was to give a tell all on 60 minutes. Friends of Tom have stated that he wouldn't of known if his footcast would even know he had a bad ankle and that he would not support this footcast supporting his bad ankle unknowingly.









Here is part of the transcript from this weeks upcoming show.....

Mike Wallace: Are you telling us, you were not supporting Tom's ankle last week in New York.

Footcast: Tom and I are good friends, he was like family to me. He welcomed me into his home and I fee that I was a part of his family.

Mike Wallace: Did you support Tom's ankle?

Footcast: I would never support anything that I wasn't sure about. Tom works hard, and I was there for him

Cameron said that Michael Jackson's a kiddy fiddler.......Got to love a hockey Mom

From our friends at Bad Jocks.......


Hockey Mom Pleads Not Guilty to Charges She Served Booze, Smoked Pot With Son's Teammates, Allegedly Had Sex With Two of Them - It's the scandal that's rocking upstate New York: Beth Modica, 44, pleaded not guilty this week to a staggering 35 charges, including those claiming she had sexual intercourse or oral sex with two teenaged boys, served them alcohol and smoked marijuana with them at so-called "team parties" last summer. Despite a DA request to set the bail at $25,000, the judge upped it to $75K, prompting Modica's defense lawyer to say, "Your honor.

The DA recommended bail at $25,000." To which Judge Catherine Bartlett responded, "I heard it. These are serious charges involving children in her community." Smack down! Apparently, Modica's lawyer, thinking because she was the wife of the local sheriff, asked that his client be released without bail. Not even close, pal! Among the charges are five felonies: one count of third-degree rape, which is statuatory rape; and four counts of third-degree criminal sexual act, involving accusations of oral sex, and 30 misdemeanor charges: four counts of third-degree sexual abuse and 26 counts of endangering the welfare of a child. (LoHud) Tyler, the reader who sent us this link, also asked, "How drunk would you have to be to hit that, even at 15?" No comment.

Isn't it strange how her mother is an A cup and she's dolly parton?.....The Giants have an enormous uphill climb Sunday

The New York Football Giants have to get their asses into action if they want to take on the New England Patriots, Tom Brady and Wes Walker's mustache. We are all Giants fans here, so we are routing for the GMEN to knock off the Pats and basque in the ever glorious history of a hodge podge of thugs, class, and white trash who currently make the team up.

Remember this call??

"Norwood's kick is up, its got the distance, but it's no good! Wide right! And the New York Giants are going to hang on and win the Super Bowl."

Established in 1928 by the Mara Family, the New York Football Giants are the NFL's premiere franchise, with more Hall of Famers than both of the other "New York" teams put together; a team so embarassed by the state they play in, they still refer to themselves as the NEW YORK GIANTS

"Hey, I don't like the Giants because they are really from New Jersey and I like to complain about that because the Jets are a good team and the Bills are actually in New YOrk and...blahblabhlahblabablhabh"

"Jets - 1 Super Bowl apperance almost a half a century ago; Bills - in Upstate New York, which as we all know is not really New York. New York Giants are the best, and you my friend are friggin clown shoes."

Bob: that guy threw a cup at me!...................... Bill: Lets not pull a Ron Artest, it was just a cup

But we're never gonna survive unless
RON ARTEST GETS little crazy
No we're never gonna survive unless
RON ARTEST a little
Cray cray crazy

Seal-Crazy

Did you see that Superbowl commercial when the monkey tries to hump that lady? How to throw a superbowl party

I am going to a Superbowl party, not going to throw one. I have been going to Superbowl parties now for about 32 years now, and I feel that I have earned the right to point out how to throw a Superbowl party. By following a few of these rules, you and yours can watch the Giants beat the Crap out of the Patriots and have fun while doing it!





Here we go........


10. Have a shit ton of dip! I mean literally a shit ton of it. Have multiple kinds of it as well, with chives, bits of bacon, vine ripened tomatoes, salmon, chunks of everything. Just have a lot of freakin dip. Everyone will eat your dip, and guests will often say, "Hey, this dip is great, what's in it"? People will bow down to your dip and make you their dip god for an evening.





9. Have a giant sub sandwich. This is key to a great Superbowl party. I love walking in and going, "Wow, now that's a huge submarine sandwich. I want a piece of that monstrosity!" Size matters guys when it comes to big subs!




8. Strategically placed beverages. Most Super Bowl parties are centered around the fridge, beer cooler, Coors Party Ball or Keg. Depending on how many people you're inviting and what they like to booze, you should consider a keg. Or, strategically place a few coolers around your living room for bottles and cans so people don't have to go too far to get their beer grove on. You can provide the beer and ask anyone who wants mixed drinks to provide byol, or you can set up a full bar yourself if you're the mack daddy or Tom Cruise Cocktail style. With drinks, like food, don't be afraid to ask your guests to pitch in and bring a six pack of Zima or twelve pack of St. Ides if you don't want to get stuck with funding the madness. Your friends will be happy to oblige and, most likely, you'll end up with some beer left over for the next few weeks.

Don't forget that many states don't sell beer on Sundays(Only douche states have this law, so this party planning doesn't work in those types of douche states), so you may need to plan ahead. Buy more than you expect you'll need. Pretend you are buying for a fraternity mixer for 19 year old college sophomores. There's nothing worse than running dry in the middle of the third quarter, and it can also break out into fights in your living room and the shit can get ugly. Also, provide soda and water for those who aren't drinking beer.(Like for the people who can't control their alcohol and are in rehab, or just those really strange people that don't drink. Actually those people shouldn't come to your party, so don't let them in!) It's important to have some non-alcoholic beverages available at the end of the party too, in case some of your friends need to sober up before hitting the road.





7. Big Screen TV. One of the most important features of the Super Bowl party is the Super Bowl itself. If you have a tiny TV, it's going to be hard for everyone to see the game and they will think you are a poor sonova bitch. Most likely you're hosting the Super Bowl party because you have the biggest (or best) TV out of your group of friends, so this shouldn't be a problem. However, even with a big screen TV, it can be hard to have a perfect view from every angle. If you have a large living room and people will be mingling during your party, consider bringing in another TV or two and placing them in strategic locations. Even a small kitchen TV can add to the experience if it's placed appropriately. Have gun, will travel!


6.Decorations? Fuck it





5. Beautiful women. Have people bring beautiful women to your house. Guys drinking beer and watching football warrants hot babes there as well. Even if your friends are ugly and fat, maybe they can rent a date for the night to have some honeys at your house. Got to have the ladies there!



4.Friends. Fill your house with friends and friends of their friends. Watching the Super Bowl with your buddies makes the experience infinitely better. You can cheer, jump up and down, high five and hug (in a manly way, of course) when your team scores or makes a big play. You can shake your heads and curse your coach or quarterback together when something goes wrong. Even a little friendly rivalry can make Super Bowl Sunday more entertaining. Invite your friends who are rooting for the other team even though they are stupid fucks. There's nothing better than a little smack talk during the game...or at the end of the game, after your team has won.




3. Jime Rome pinata. During half time you can whip up on that goatee wearing douche and knock all of the "s(m)nack" out of him. He sucks ass, so it will be fun to take out your frustration on this annoying bitch!







2. Did we mention beer? If not, have more beer!











1. Make sure the Patriots lose. Whatever hand you can have with Tom Brady losing the Superbowl is the key to a great party. Death Threats to his chauffeur, Bomb scare at the Patriots hotel, or sneaking into the locker room and pulling a Nancy Kerrigan prior to Sunday, you do it! Remember, everything Boston Sucks!

Even Hitler is pissed that the Giants are in the superbowl

John Kruk questioned about past steroid use and tells investigators, "Seriously? I mean really?"

He swung a mean bat, had deceptive speed, gave his all for the team, had probably the best mullet in baseball and always came through in the clutch. More than anything, though, it's just that he's so NORMAL. He looks like he worked at Cole Muffler down the road and is the guy drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon in the neighborhood bar. As he himself said, when admonished for being a professional athlete and yet smoking, "I ain't an athlete, lady, I'm a baseball player."

John Kruk is the latest name to be thrown around in the steroid saga and smartly denies ever using the performance enhancers. "Seriously? I mean really? Do you see what I look like? I am John Daly in a baseball uniform," Kruk stated on a radio show in Philadelphia. The mullet man from the City of Brotherly Love is the newest addition to the steroid addition of major league baseball. Could you imagine Kruk on Roids? He would be SuperKruk with flowing locks a rock hard beer gut and the ability to be nimble enough to play in MLB.



And....Did I mention that mullet? Probably the best baseball mullet ever for my liking. Randy Johnson could also have a claim to that as well. His mullet would be the ballz with roids. His mulletude would surely have made a pitch for Cooperstown.


But, Krukmeister always has a word to say about the current state of the Union concerning steroids in baseball..........

But you can't prove that they took anything! Just because you have 'em doesn't mean you took 'em. Now, common sense tells you if you're purchasing them you're probably going to use 'em also, but -- if there's no drug test, no failed drug test, how can you suspend anyone by hearsay? I mean, that's like arresting someone at 12 o'clock in the afternoon, saying, "About a week ago, you had a couple drinks and you were driving, so we're going to arrest you now." You can't do it unless you prove it.

Good points Kruk...Oh well, we will just have to wait and see where the Man with the Mullet takes us next? Hopefully to Darren Daulton's cookout next Saturday!

Danny from Cusescoops caught seductively blogging from Hotel room in Charlotte

Sports Blogging: If minds had anuses, Sports blogging would be what your mind would do when it had to take a dump at a stadium.

According to all the latest buzzing around the internets, "sports blogs" are the continually becoming popular newest trend amongst the pseudo-intellectual sports enthusiasts. Being myself a pseudo intellectual, and former athlete (just ask my detractors and coaches) I decided that I should probably get on board with this for whatever reason, or risk being unheard, uncool and non-famous. As we here at Cusescoops started doing some digging into this sports blogosphere, I figured I had a form of Bloggers ADD. I don't enjoy reading into deep thoughts of bloggers or could care less. I don't need to know Steve Nash's free throw percentage back in 2001 or do I care why "my team" lost the game tonight.


Oh which do i click, I guess "here" BAM ANOTHER BLOG WITH THE SAME SHIT FORMAT
---Gilbert Arenas

So what makes the best sports blog? Is it the guy who gets the first scoop on a player? (I was the first person to hear this band, have you ever heard of them?? I don't think so!) Are sports blogs meant to be these creative opinion outlets from journalism students that can rant about their favorite teams? Is the purpose of which to be linked,read and commented upon (and lauded for their unrivaled wit and endearing melodrama with a turn of phrase, of course) by others? Are all these sports blogs merely the modern equivalent of "Dear Diary", with creative ramblings and passion for their favorite sports team? What sort of sports fan spills the secrets of their heart and soul of their team online?



We directly partake in this idiocracy and obsessiveness of "sport blogging." All with our goal for people to read and drop you some props, and link each other to drive hits, and comments. I could actually be outside skiing, playing some b-ball, or actually physically enacting what I am writing about..Most people think sports bloggers are of the Bob Costas mold, 5'1, 135 lbs and obsessed with sports cause we cannot play them; probably true for a lot of the debauchery out there right? Well, as we continue to vent about nothing in particular, we at Cusescoops claim that we are mere villagers in this blogger world and do not have the creative elements to rant 1000 words on why Syracuse's zone is no longer working anymore, or what potential impact of a Giants switch to a 3-4 defense would stymie the patriots offensive line.

So....until we are able to put such thoughts on paper creatively and to gain the blogosphere's merit, we will continue to write absolute nonsense, mediocre satire and simple verbiage while we are sitting in airports, train terminals or dinners at our folks house..........

Justin was such a poser-goth; sure, he comes to school in all black, but he doesn't even know who Edgar Allen Poe is.

From our Bro's at the Brushback....


Phillip Rivers reveals he had leg amputated before game

FOXBORO--Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers had his leg amputated prior to Sunday’s clash with the Patriots in the AFC conference championship, the team revealed today. Rivers, who played courageously despite his limited mobility, refused to disclose the severity of the injury during the week because “he didn’t want to use it as an excuse.”

“My right knee was totally destroyed and I knew the only option was to get it amputated,” Rivers told the San Diego Tribune. “So I told the team doctor, ‘cut it off.’ The whole thing took about ten minutes on Thursday and then I spent a couple days hopping around like that and it felt okay. Obviously my mobility was pretty limited, but that’s not an excuse. I wasn’t the only guy out there who was nicked up.”

Continue reading story


Patriots dedicate victory to imaginary people who doubted them

FOXBORO--Following their 21-12 victory over the San Diego Chargers in the AFC Conference Championship, the New England Patriots had a message for the imaginary people who doubted them: this one’s for you.

“This game is for anyone out there who doubted us this week,” said linebacker Tedy Bruschi. “I’m talking about…um...that guy from that one San Diego paper who said the Chargers had a chance, and whichever talking head on ESPN said we might not win, and, most likely, some asshole message board posters who thought we might not cover the spread. I don’t know your names, but I know you’re out there. Probably. I mean, I’m assuming it. Anyway, keep doubting us. We like that way.”

When Tom Brady was picked off for the third time in the second half of the game, many of the imaginary doubters probably thought the Patriots were finished. However, they turned out to be wrong once again when the Pats took control of the game in the fourth quarter.

Continue reading story

Dr. Jack Ramsey busted for doing nude one handed pushups inside hotel foyer

The Doctor of basketball was born, February 21, 1925 so the thought of him doing naked one handed pushups might be disturbing for some people. Miami authorities reported a call placed to them that a man, apparently drunk was in the Miami Hyatt's foyer doing naked one handed pushups around midnight last tuesday after the Miami Heat game.



Palance blazed the new frontier of one handed pushups





Ramsey, mimicking the famous exercise patented by the late Jack Palance was apparently toxicated and causing a stir as guests entered the Hyatt's ballroom. "We just got to the hotel and check in, and a naked old guy has was doing jump and jacks right in the doorway," stated a hotel guest. Authorities did not comment if the broadcaster was ticketed, but stated that they had to calm the former NBA coach before he returned to his room.



Check out his coaching resume--
Coached the Philadelphia 76ers (1968–72)
Buffalo Braves (1972–76)
Portland Trail Blazers (1976–86)
Indiana Pacers (1986–88)
Color commentator for ESPN
Led the Portland Trail Blazers
to the 1976-77 NBA championship

Jeff's friends called him "whiteylocks" because of his long blonde dreadlocks..............Taj Smith to join the NFL dreadlock Association

Taj Smith has joined the ever growing union of NFL players that sport the long trendy locks. Dreadlocks have become common place in the NFL, including a few whities who sport the popular hairstyle. Smith, a senior wide receiver at Syracuse with a year of eligibility remaining, declared himself eligible for the draft earlier this month.




Steve Lamin, former kicker for the San Diego Chargers sported Dreads during his playing days in the late 90's






Many people wonder how in the world do football players with dreadlocks manage to put on their helmets? Do they require a bigger helmet than usual,or are helmets now being custom made for them, as a person who once had an Afro and played football? When you get fitted with a helmet, they fit it for your head, hair and all. Unless someone has the odd superpower of growing hair REALLY fast, their head already had the dreads BEFORE they get fitted with their helmet.

I am starting to think the NFL is looking like one big PM Dawn video. Dreads, Dreads everywhere. Taj needs to lose the dreads and concentrate on not dropping the 5 and outs!

Emmitt claims that if Giants win tonight, "they will go to the Superbowl!".....Thanks for the insight Mr. Smith

Fox Robot questioned about sexual harrassment claim

Fox sports infamous jumping robot was questioned on allegations of sexual harassment during last weeks divisional playoff game in Dallas versus the New York Giants. Apparently when the telecast went to break, the robot smacked a fox staffer in the rear end and asked her if, "she had ever been with a robot?"

Formal charges have not been filed yet, and Fox sports General Manager, Abe Daian was not available for comment. This is not the first run in with Fox's popular animated robot. During a telecast last year, the robot apparently punched a camera man after he told the robot, "Optimus Prime would kick his ass!" Fox has received many complaints over the years and seems to be taking some heat for the conduct of the robot.

Tom Brady might get laid tonight

Due to today's win over the San Diego Chargers in the AFC Championship game, and strong performances both in the regular season and the postseason (1 NFL MVP, 2 Super Bowl MVPs), Brady acknowledged that his girlfriend Giselle Bundchen might finally give in and have sex with him. "I know I am no Dicaprio, but I have been waiting awhile now and hopefully she will want to consemate the relationship this evening," Brady said in a post game conference.

He has won three Super Bowls (XXXVI, XXXVIII, XXXIX), two Super Bowl MVP awards (XXXVI and XXXVIII), has been invited to four Pro Bowls, and holds the NFL record for most touchdown passes in a single regular season. Brady was named as Sports Ill ustrated's Sportsman of the Year, in 2005. He also helped set the record for the longest consecutive win streak in NFL history with 21 straight wins over two seasons.

All of us here at Cusescoops would like to wish Tom the best in his endevour with Giselle. We all realize it must be tough, especially when your girl is holding out on you, so go get em T-Brady!!

Fantasy football is dungeon and dragons for meatheads

Now hold on! Before everyone rips me a new virtual ass, listen to what we have to say. We love sports, read sports, follow sports and often participate in many sport leagues (mostly the kind that you can drink Milwaukees Beast while playing.) We have participated in a fantasy league or two but none of us could never really grasp the whole spirit of it.



Here are a few reasons, we DON'T think Fantasy leagues are the Ballz......

*The only sports whites can play better than blacks. Face it, it's true!!

* You end up cheering against your teams...Alright, so Plaxico Buress just caught a 60-yard touchdown, there's 10 points, but I have to deduct 4 from that because he scored against my defense and then deduct one more point because the guy I'm playing has Tony Romo.

* Fantasy football made me cheer for kickers.

and finally

* a Tossa-league- Predecessor to fantasy sports, created during the Depression as a diversionary pleasure. Name is derived from the fact that the leagues are half-assed and ill-conceived, and quickly "tossed" out to be used by friends and acquaintences. Often involved football or baseball leagues , although tossa leagues can even include sports such as tennis or skeete-shooting

Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat, like Fred Flinstone driving around with bald feet!

Allen Melvin, aka Sam the Butcher
1924-2008







Melvin died of cancer Thursday at his home in the Brentwood section of Los Angeles, said Amalia Melvin, his wife of 64 years.

The jowly, jovial Melvin spent decades playing a series of sidekicks, second bananas and lovable lugs, including Archie Bunker's friend Barney Hefner on "All in the Family," and Sgt. Bilko's right-hand man Cpl. Henshaw on the "Phil Silvers Show."

But his place in pop culture will be fixed as butcher and bowler Sam Franklin, the love interest of Brady family maid Alice Nelson, who was played by Ann B. Davis. Melvin played the role from 1970 to 1973.

Sam has had some great lines during his run on network Television. Here are some of our favorites......

Mr Brady: Sam, what are you doing here so late?
Sam: Just making a late night meat delivery.

“This isn’t about Texas versus Georgia. This is about decency versus filth!”

Mr. Brady: I am sorry to hear about the closing of your butcher shop.
Sam: Guess Alice is going to need somebody else to deliver the meat.

Pass, dribble, shoot boys, ya here! SU loses to Nova

Cusescoops- A pre-game pep talk via VHS/Beta from James Naismith could not rabble-rouse the SU men, who lost 81-71 against the 21st ranked Wildcats of Villanova.

In December 1891, Canadian-born James Naismith, a physical education teacher at the YMCA (Young Men's Christian Association) training school, took a soccer ball and a peach basket into the gym and invented basketball. In 1893, James Naismith replaced the peach basket with iron hoops and a hammock-style basket. Ten years later came the open-ended nets of today. Before that, you had to retrieve your ball from the basket every time you scored. The SU men had a chance to see early footage of Naismiths, "keys to victory in basketball." The video which depicts white farm boys ranging from 5'6 to 5'11 in height making layups, medium range jump shots and pivot action passing denotes that a crisp back door screen and the patented dribble, pass, shoot scheme didn't fair well with the Orange today.

Facing its first ranked opponent of the season, Syracuse (13-6, 3-3), with only eight scholarship players available and five of them freshmen, got into serious foul trouble for the first time this season and it proved costly. Naismith might have recommended some backdoor screens and precision passing, but to his adue, Syracuse went straight to the hole, and shoot poor from the outside.



Villanova (13-3, 3-2) trailed for much of the first half but quickly erased a 35-30 halftime deficit and began to assert control once the Orange's leading scorer, freshman Donte Greene, was called for his fourth foul with 17:04 left and the score tied at 40-all.

"Greene is athletic and can pretty much do everything," said Reynolds, who made four 3-pointers and was 9-of-10 from the free throw line. "We knew he was in foul trouble and wanted to limit those screens. We were trying to take it at him a little bit to see if we could get him out of there. The guys did a great job of attacking, and we heard about the Naismith video before the game and guarded against the left handed layup."

Michigan Coach Rodriguez bitch slaps West Virginia

Bitch slap defined.....

As distinguished from the more common "pimp slap", a bitch slap is preceded by ample forewarning and delivered with a flourish or exaggerated post-blow hip movements. Nonetheless, the blow is firm and may involve an open forehand or backhand.

A pimp slap to the contrary, is regularly delivered without announcement and oftentimes over breakfast at an IHOP, on a subway platform, or numerous other indiscriminately chosen venues. The blow is always, always struck with the back of ones hand as to do otherwise is bad form. And the hip motion that accompanies a pimp slap provides the torque to knock a bitch silly.
After weeks of be raiding his kids, death threats and a virtual ban from stepping in the state of West Virginia, Michigan's coach Rich Rodgriguez bitch slapped the state of West Virginia, and it was felt from Morgantown to Charleston.

Apparently Rodriguez reached the boiling point and felt the he needed to handle the situation like a whiny ex-girlfriend. The Mountaineer faithful were silent after the slap and tears were rolling from the hills around Morgantown into the river basin. "I can't believe he bitch slapped an entire state? We felt it and we are very upset and think it is time to move onto the next chapter here at West Virginia," stated John Adima of Morgantown.

West Virginia officials are rifling through his cell phone records, trying to figure out whether he called a few Michigan recruits on his West Virginia-issued phone before leaving town. "I just want to end this chapter of my life, but I cannot get rid of these fans that keep on wondering why I left the university," Rodriguez stated in a release earlier this week. "Seriously, I needed to end this situation so I let my temper get the best of me, so I bitch slapped the state, and I do not apologize about it."



As tough as this may be for the West Virgina community to take, Michigan is a better job than West Virginia, a no brainer there! Richer tradition, bigger stadium, better resources, more prestigious conference, wider recruiting appeal ... It should hardly come as a shock to you that Rodriguez would leave West Virginia for Michigan, which any coach outside of maybe, hmmmmmmmm USC, LSU, Florida, etc.......

Hey West Virginia, a lot of people have been bitch slapped for many reasons. Just be happy you smoked the Sooners and have a coach on deck waiting to take you to another 11 win season. Stop whining about it, and just move on. He is not coming back, he has a pretty, smarter, skinnier and richer girlfriend now!

Greg Paulus...Another white player we love to hate from Duke

Max Suter training video

A video recently popped up of SU Kick Returner Max Suter doing some off season training down in Florida. Suter has an old school appeal to his training, Kinda like Rocky 3 With Apollo. SU's Slingshot is ready to set more NCAA records next year as the best Kick Returner in the Nation!

The Cowboys are gaining Romomentum.

Okay, I have to admit it.............I'm homo for Romo. I used to be a jealous Stetson Man for Tom Brady, but now I am a converted Romosexual.

Even with his strange looking face, he somehow attracts gorgeous women like Carrie Underwood, Jessica Simpson, and others. Because of this, he is making pro football into another celebrity obsessed TV show.

"Dude, Tony Romo is the man, even though I am a Giants Fan!!!




Al Michaels: "...and Tony Romo throws another touchdown!"
John Madden: "He just goes 'boom,' and you know what I'm saying? That's how (muffled sounds afterwards)."

Romo is a lucky bastard right now, and he is making a move on Tom Brady's grasp as the man most American men are crazy jealous of...I know Tom has Giselle, but it's like every girl has a keg in their ass, and Romo is able to tap it.



Chart showing Romo's life since landing the starting job as Cowboys starting quarterback

Turkish Rambo ticketed at Dunkin Donuts on South Salina

Nectar Sasmaz, Turkish action hero star was ticketed for urinating in public outside the Dunkin Donuts on South Salina street in Syracuse. Sasmaz wa urinating on the side of the building as a Syracuse Police officer drove up and spotted him. He was given a ticket and a warning for lewd conduct as well.

Sasmaz is the biggest action hero in Turkey. The movie high jinks of a Turkish Rambo who single-handedly takes on U.S. forces in lawless northern Iraq are filling cinemas across Turkey, America's only predominantly Muslim nato ally. Valley of the Wolves Iraq, which is set to broke Turkish box-office records, shows U.S. soldiers in Iraq as they raid a wedding, machine-gun the guests, and take survivors to a prison where a Jewish doctor removes their organs for rich people in the West. Subtle it ain't, but Turks are in a frenzy over it. Advance tickets sold out weeks ago; cabinet ministers, businessmen and even the Prime Minister's wife and daughters packed the glitzy premiere in the capital Ankara.


Turkish Rambo in Action





How about a Turkish Superman

Pacman Jones finally loses last sponsor, Pimp Juice

The Saga of Pacman Jones continues. after the latest allegations of the former Titans standout, Pacman Jones has lost his last sponsor, Pimp Juice. Now Jones is involved in another mess. According to officials of the Fulton County Magistrate Court, Jones allegedly punched a woman in an Atlanta strip club.Fulton County Magistrate Court officials told The Associated Press on Tuesday that Wanda S. Jackson asked for the warrant after a Jan. 3 altercation at the Body Tap Strip Club.


Wanda S. Jackson, an attorney, says in her filing that she was in the club's office when an angry Jones accused managers of stealing his money and bracelet. "I was sitting in the office and he lunged at me numerous times in an effort to do grave bodily harm," Jackson wrote in the warrant application filed Jan. 7. "Veronica Jones, an owner, went into the hall to deal with a member of his entourage. I followed to gawk. He was in the hall, surprisingly reached over or around a security guard and sucker punched me in my left eye."


Wow, MO DRAEMA!

Pimp Juice- The Purple Label's slogan states its mission: "Upgrade your Wack Energy Drink of choice to the Purple Label; the new Pimp Juice flavor." Following in the footsteps of the original Pimp Juice, the Purple Label Pimp Juice continues to pimp the energy drink game by once again proving energy drinks don't have to taste awful or lack nutritional benefits. Apparently Pacman's recent conduct is not worthy of the Pimp Juice image and they energy drink dropped him this past Monday. In a statement, founder Nelly made these comments:

"We regretfully had to drop Mr. Pacman Jones from our Pimp Juice family. We at Pimp Juice do not want to be associated with the elements and surroundings Mr.Jones has been recently placing himself in. We love pimpin, phat booty bitches and rims... We do not condone any of the punching of bitches, dope dealing or straight out thuggin Mr. Pacman has been exonerating."



Pimp Juice will really gitcha pimpin!

Wife suprised husband went to watch the SU women play

Cusescoops- Mark Mcdonough of East Syracuse is a die hard Syracuse Basketball fan. He grew up here and has been to hundreds of games throughout his life and routes for the home Orange. When he left to see the women's game Tuesday night against UCONN, he forgot to tell his wife he was going to see the Orange Women play. "I happened to go online to find the SU Mens score and it they were not playing. So, I started to get worried and wonder where he was, never thinking he would go see the women play," stated Mcdonough's wife Christine.

Mcdonough arrived home later that night and his wife questioned his whereabouts and he had to show a ticket stub to prove he was at the game. "I got home and she calls me a liar, a cheat and a shithead. I had to calm her down and explain why I went to a women's basketball game." After the storm, she calmed down and the couple reconciled the situation and he explained to her he would "differentiate" what games he was going to see from now on. Mcdonough doesn't know how many women's games he will attend in the future but stated that he actually had a good time, and that UCONN was a very good basketball team and not just women with lumpy bottoms running around making jump shots and layups.

I'm from Jersey. I keep it real. Kinda?

Piece of shit city 60 miles west of rochester, crappy looking, good NCAA team, billboard that says "welcome to ondaga county, home of Basketball, Rapists, murderers, and general retards." Have a crappy lake that only 2 people ever swim in, because food lion dumps all their chemicals in it, old middle class houses full of black people who think they are ghetto,next to 60 year old factories and BJ's and Target Warehouses.The Mall is the high point of Syracuse social life. It has the only big movie complex, after all. Other than the mall, there is several downtown dance clubs where no one dances, some Irish pubs, maybe two live music venues, one coffeehouse, and the usual quotient of dim bars where middle aged men drink in the early afternoon. right next to the Ny state fairground is a huge chemical plant/factory that looks 100 years old. City that is crap to anyone over 13. Avoid at all costs.Wanna go to syracuse ?

(Posted on a Rutgers Basketball Blog...Really???!! You live in Jersey?)


Anyway.........

Well, the mighty Orange have faltered a couple Big East Games in a row...Thanks god for our friends over in Jersey to come in and try to get us back on the fast track, and hopefully not the fast track straight to the NIT. Rutgers always gives us a bit of a "safe haven" from the actual Big East, even though we have struggle as of late against them. (Remember our championship year in Jersery with Melo?)

Syracuse hopes to get a shot of vitamin water from the the fans, when Rutgers visits the Carrier Dome for a 7 p.m. game. The Scarlet Knights, at 0-4, have yet to win a game in the Big East and have been struggling. Maybe they need some fire in their gut, maybe a nickname like that stupid ass Imus gave the women's team? Anyway, we need a win, a really bad one!


























Here are a few of my favorite Jersey Folk-

David Copperfield
born in metuchen, new jersey
children's birthday party magician/douchebag

Dave Thomas
Born in Atlantic city, new jersey
Founder of Wendy's, new jersey's finest dining
establishment

Whitney Houston
Born in Newark, New Jersey
She married bobby brown and then started
smoking crack. for some reason, it seems
like that should have happened the other way
around.

Milwaukee's Best Girls cited for Pooping on local bar

Seen here at the Days Inn in North Syracuse,(Mary Kidin, far left and Molly Kanan, middle, were cited for lewd conduct after pooping on a local bar)






Liverpool police have cited two women for apparently defecating on a local bar during a Milwaukee's Best party at the Days Inn in North Syracuse. Witnesses stated the two women, who were cocktailing the party, went up on stage and proceded to use the bar as a toilet.
"I was in complete shock," states Steve Tosh of Syracuse. "I mean, they literally took a poop on the bar!" The hotel manager was notified during the act and called local authorities which handled the matter.




Man takes poop in local Mall

Local man believes that most ladies "want his body"

Tony Timmons believes that most women want his body








Tony Timmons, a local Brueggers Bagels shift supervisor is convinced that most ladies want his body. "I think that most women want my body, I can see it when I walk into the bar or grocery store." Timmons may be right, and he is not shy to tell everyone that he is available and has no current relationships. "I am 22 years old, and have only 5% body fat. Who wouldn't want to get down with that right?"

Outside his bagel gig, Timmons is also enrolled at Onondaga Community College as a liberal Arts major with hopes of working with a cell phone company someday. His mother, Sheila Timmons commented that Tony has had a way with the ladies since he was a young boy. "He was always making eye contact and taking his shirt off trying to impress the girls, he just has a knack for being incredibly enticing to women.



Timmons also believes that his car, a 1987 Baby Blue Iroc also helps the helps him with the ladies. "When they see me roll up with this baby, women melt and they always want a ride to places like Shifty's, Applebees or Family Dollar. They love the bucket seats and my Ken wood deck."

World Series of Poker Tour to test for Steroids

Poker players have been under the gun on reported steroid use on tour

















Following suit with most other professional sport organizations, The World Series of Poker has announced mandatory steroid testing at the beginning of the 2009 season. The announcement comes on the backdrop of the Michell Report, which named numerous Major League baseball players as possibly using steroids.

By 2006, the World Series of Poker was comprised of 45 tournaments, all awarding gold bracelets to the winners. Well over $100 million in prize money was won, making the WSOP the richest event in all of sports. Many outsiders have stated that the size of the participants and the ease of pulling chips towards them has created a mystery about performance enhancing drugs being used on the tour. The World Series has also expanded its reach beyond Las Vegas, to nearly a dozen casinos spread throughout the United States. The newly-formed World Series of Poker Circuit allowed poker players nationwide the opportunity to participate in poker’s greatest tradition.


Big corporations also took notice. What was once an untouchable subculture largely rejected by potential advertisers and business partners has suddenly become a highly- desirable target demographic. Beer companies, auto makers, and other mainstream businesses are now eager to attach themselves to the success story that is the World Series of Poker, but are now nervous because of the sports reported involvement in steroids.

Jeffrey Pollack is the active Commissioner, and has went on record to state that "the sport is clean, and will hire ann outside investigation group to look into the matter." A few ex-WSOP players have come out and admitted use. Todd Piasecki, a tour member during the tours infancy back in the early 90's has told numerous media folks that, he "used to shoot up before matches with other contestants." We all have to wait and see with curiosity and a humbled opinion, that the executives of the WSOP are making sure their organization is clean and morally just in the minds of Americans that are tired hearing about professional drug use.

Chuck gives the Mitchell report a "knob Job" Three Idiots on Sports

Grosstradamus.... A lil review of our favorite Doctor Troy Nunes is a helping hands worker at Wegmans




What would Billy Celuk do?










Would we make the NCAA tourney right now?? CuseAdelphia

Nick Lachey doesn't have crap on Syracuse.....Orange 44

I once told a cabbie from Virginia that I was from West Virginia. He didn't know where that was. I punched him in the face and stole his cab. Sucker.
Anonomyous








According to some West Virginia fans.....................


One of America's poorest states. New Yorkers who claim to be "tolerant" and then make jokes about Appalachians which they would never dare make about blacks or gays deserve a hard punch in the face.

West Virginia has been screwed and betrayed by the rich Bi-Coastal fat cats.Yes, we do have shoes. Poverty has always ran rampant in this state and often times people only could afford the bare necessities. And sometimes children have fun playing bearfoot. We are Mountaineers. Incest...yes. The strong family ties and isolation has resulted in may a incestial relationship. But that has ended for the most part in this modern age. But incest occurs in Alabama, Iowa, in every state really.

Yes, we have accents. We live in hollers. We warsh. But I am proud of my accent and so should most people. New Yorkers have an accent, so...

We are part of the South at hearts. We were a Union state but the Confederacy is much celecrated around here and many of our forefathers fought for that side. Especially here in southern WV.

Our main problem now is working-class men who fake back injuries so they can receive pain medication. And disabilty. Almost everyone does it. Some sell the drugs to other people, and make a profit.

I'm proud to be a West Virginian. A southern West Virginian.



Witness the way the Elites behaved towards Jessica Lynch; they competed to exploit her. The CIA, the Pentagon, Tim Robbins, the Feminists, the Right, the Left, the media, the Metropolitan Elite...all GUILTY of RAPING Jessica Lynch.

Someday, there will be vengeance.

Chuck Yaeger, John Nash, Homer Hickam, Jessica Lynch are famous West Virginians, and are vastly superior to any of the worhtless, parasitic New York intelectuals.

Local Talk Show Host Jim Reith had supporting role in touring Dance Troupe-Thunder Pants

Local Radio talk show host Jim Reith is an afternoon daily for hundreds of drivers commuting home from work in the Central New York area. He describes himself as a neither a liberal nor conservative. His show, The Jim Reith Show, airs on WSYR radio in Syracuse, New York. It is the number one general local live talk forum in Central New York. Recently Reith's name has been popping up as part of the now defunct gay dance group Thunderpants. Thunderpants,a touring, high energy adult orientated dance troupe folded in the early 80's and eventually turned into the very popular Men of Steel show that is a national favorite on the male revue circuit.

On December 15, 1997, Jim Reith began his own show called The Jim Reith Show.

In November 2005, Glenn Beck gave a performance of his Christmas Tour in Syracuse. This event was co-sponsored by Clear Channel, who owns Reith's radio station. Jim and Glenn had lunch on the day of the performance, and Jim presented Glenn to the audience at the event. Shortly thereafter, Reith announced that he would guest host The Glenn Beck Program on November 16, 2005. So far, that has been the only time Reith has hosted a national talk show. Reid has also received some slack as an anti-condiment Connoisseur and apparently ridicules people who put mayonnaise on their french fries. The Americans for mayonnaise on french fries coalition has recently called for a boycott against Reids talk show saying that he "Vastly offends the thousands of Americans who enjoy the Delicious food pairing."



According to the (AFMOFF), Reith's comments on condiments including mayonnaise on french fries has poised serious ethics issues in the condiment industry.







Reith was unavailable for comment, but a few insiders has told us that his patented move while with thunderpants was a topless squat thrust wearing a pair of black denim jean shorts. Reith can be heard weekly monday-friday from 3:00pm-7:00pm.

Doug Gottlieb is Priceless!

Romo considers not playing against Giants, might attend dinner at Jessica's grandmothers house.

With a giant new 30 million dollar contract, one of the elite quarterbacks in the NFL has a bid decision to make, Sunday dinner or NFL playoff game?Well, Tony Romo has to answer whether or not he will play against the Giants this Sunday or go to his girlfriends grandmothers house for Sunday dinner. The Cowboys' playoff game Sunday against the New York Giants is as much for a spot in the NFC championship game as it is a question in the road for Romo's heart and football career. "Jessica really wants me to meet her grandmother and a few cousins from Alabama will be there as well, so I will make my decision later tonight whether I will play for the cowboys tomorrow," Romo stated via telephone. "I mean, I can play next Sunday if they beat the Giants, and Jessica always complains that I never want to meet any of her family."

After coming off the much criticized excursion to the beaches of Mexico last week, Romo most certainly will receive much criticism for not playing Sunday for the Boyz. "If Romo doesn't play, I will have to decide with our staff what to do about this situation," stated Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. "I know she is really hot and I understand when a woman wants you to meet her family, especially their grandmother. So he has a decision to make really fast." Romo will certainly put himself in another tier if he should play and beat the Giants and play in the NFC championship game, but the well being with the Simpson family could be jeopardized. Former husband Nick Lachey stated that, "Tony should play in the game, I have met Jess's grandmother a few times and blew a few 98 degrees shows off to have a Sunday dinner. It's really not worth it, and her house smells like old cats anyway."

If Romo decides to opt out of the game, he will surely be hammered by the "old school" players and former players in the league about his decision. "I am not like Ronnie Lott or Dick Butkus. Those guys would literally caught off their finger to play this game. If I don't do so Jessica's grandmothers house Sunday, I know she will be so pissed off, and I just wouldn't want to deal with that right now."


Go eat dinner with Jessica Tony!

Guido population in Syracuse jumps 17%, largest increase since 98-99

"yo yo yo Mario!!! Whas good we hittin up dem clubs tonight?"
"Nahh yo, my dad took away my Bimma yo, he sayin i put too much mileage on it last week."
"Damn, i feel for you. You wanna hit up the italian club on 25th?"
"Nahh we got kicked out last time by dat guido "
"oh yah, aiight then, ill catch you on the flip side playboy"
"Ciao playa"



The Guido revolution has arrived in Syracuse, NY. According to the latest U.S. Census statistics, Syracuse's Guido population has jumped 17%, the cities largest increase since 98-99. Outside of Staten Island, NY, Syracuse has recently surpassed Queens and Yonkers as the second highest number of Guidos in the State. Local lawmakers have commented on Guido population control, but have not put an action plan together to combat further population increases.

Tom Delosa, town councilman for the city of Syracuse stated that, "he feels it is the county's responsibility to create an action plan to control the guido population and make it difficult for them to thrive here in upstate."

Known to frequent area malls looking for club gear to waste their week's pay on (most likely spotted shopping at Burlington Coat Factory" in Cicero). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (P.J. Dorseys,Fuel,The ZOO Station Etc.). Most notable for cruising on Erie Blvd in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in an attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin' system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend.


Guidos are fortunate in that they usually tend to be loyal to their heritage and cultures. However, their interpretation of the Italian culture is unique to Americans. They fall sorrily short when attempting to emulate the sophistication of European-born men. In fact, their shortcomings include a tendency toward alcoholism, legal problems (usually related to assault, reckless driving, noise violations), and an inability to compete in legimate business.


"Although he spends all his time in the gym and dancing in the clubs, that Guido will soon be a burned out alcoholic working a thankless job, living alone in his one-bedroom apartment in North Syracuse"

Anonomyous

The guido takes pictures of himself in poses that he wants to seem candid, often these pictures are numerous and the guido selects the 1 of 100 pics to put on his myspace page, which is littered with images of italian flags and the colors red white and green.
The common guido cannot tell you how old the Pope is, or who the leader of italy is. In fact, they probably dont even realize that when they call their father, they are saying the title "POPE" in Italian - (Pope = "papa" in italian, Dad/father = "papa" only pronounced with a sharp accent on the second P)

These really really nice, clean-living people who believe some pretty weird stuff............. My All-Mormon Basketball Century Team

Below the facts about Mormons, enjoy Cusescoops All-Mormon Basketball Century Team


Here are the facts.........................

*A dietary code called the Word of Wisdom, currently requiring abstinence from alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, and illegal drugs; caffeinated soft drinks are left to individual discretion.

*Formerly practicing polygamy (plural marriage)

*You have to give a password to your wives to get into heaven.

*In 1827 Joseph Smith dug up some golden plates in New York that had been protected by an angel named Moroni and engraved by Mormon, a pre-Columbian prophet-warrior.









Danny Ainge

Ainge played basketball at BYU , after which he was selected in baseball's 1977 amateur draft by Toronto. He made it to the majors with the Blue Jays in 1979, but was able to amass only modest numbers for that team. In 1981, after receiving the John R. Wooden Award as college basketball player of the year, Ainge was chosen in the NBA draft by the Boston Celtics, who had to buy out his contract from the Blue Jays after enduring a legal battle over the rights to Ainge's contract.

Shawn Bradley

Played only one season in college at Brigham Young University before serving a mission in Australia. Drafted second overall by the Philadelphia 76ers in the 1993 Draft. He is one of the NBA's great shot-blockers.


Tom Chambers

During the late '80s and early '90s, he was were the driving force behind the Phoenix Suns' high-octane offense. Over the course of five seasons, he guided the Suns to three Western Conference Finals appearances and one trip to the NBA Finals in 1993. In 1993-94, he moved on, spending a couple of seasons playing alongside Karl Malone and John Stockton in his home state of Utah, and a couple more bouncing between teams. But to Phoenix fans, "Tommy Gun" would always be a Sun. Upon retiring in 1997, he returned to Phoenix, joining the Suns' community relations staff, and on April 19, 1999 was inducted into the team's Ring of Honor.

Casey Jacobsen

He played college basketball at Stanford University until he graduated in 2003. Selected by the Phoenix Suns in the first round (#22 pick overall) in the 2002 NBA Draft.

Travis Hansen

Hansen first played college basketball near his hometown of Orem, Utah at Utah Valley State Collage from 1996-1997. After serving as a Mormon Missionary in Santiago, Chile for two years, he played basketball at Brigham Young University for three seasons, from 2001-2003. With his selection by the Hawks in 2003, he became the first BYU men's basketball player to be drafted since Shawn Bradley in 1993.

SRSLY! An abbreviation for "seriously".

We lose to former the former "THUGVILLE" of Ohio 74-66

North Syracuse Man doesn't give a Shit

Ask North Syracuse's Chuck Wiamer who is favorite candidate in this year's election and he is surely to reply, " I don't give a shit bout no political bullshit." The father of three toddlers ages 1, 3, and 4, Chuck just wants to live his life his way, and that's that!

"You always have people saying shit like, hey do some more of this, or do some more of that shit, but I could give a F*%$! They don't know me, I come round here, they know me and I don't care who you are, I am going to do my shit whenever I want!"
Chuck's live-in girlfriend Sharon Dockey will second her sweethearts feelings about a variety of issues and topics on the national and local stage. "He comes home, and is like, what the hell is going on and I don't care bout this shit either. He does his thing over there, and I get off work and are tired and just want to watch the WWE and he gets all crazy and shit." The two have shared his uncles apartment above their garage for the last three months since he lost his job as a shelf stocker at the local Price Chopper.


The couple hopes to have a few kids and buy his buddy's 93 Camaro and save up for a snowmobile next winter. "I am just going to do this til I get mine! She does her thing and so do I, so watcha got to say with that? See, I am coming home later and she is bitching about this and that, and we watch the WWE and she won't shut up. I don't know how long I can deal with that stuff."

Later during the interview with Chuck we caught him and his pal having a conversation......

Chuck: this video game is so good. i could play it forever
jim: i could care less. i hate video games.
Chuck: wait, so you could care less.... that means that you care somewhat. you mean "i couldn't care less"?
jim: what? no. i don't give a shit about your dumb video game.
Chuck: you're a f$&king retard. F%&k this shit!

Thanks to Chuck and Sharon for their time....

You can't beat a reliever with a mustache! Three idiots (and a lil baby) on sports

Cheesesteaks, Rocky, McNabb and (Lacrosse) in Philly? CuseAdelphia

Hopefully the Orange get Road(a)head....Troy Nunes is an an illegal Mexican Magician

Nick's college Hoops Mancrushes....Nick's 2 Cents

Blasting the comments and rants from DA STATE- State of the Orange


MUSTACHE VIDEO OF THE DAY






LSU Elated To Win Whatever It Is They Just Won

NEW ORLEANS--Following a 38-24 victory over the Ohio State Buckeyes Monday night, the LSU Tigers were crowned National Champions or BCS champions or something. The talented team, which went 12-2 season under Coach Les Miles, said they were “elated” to win whatever it is they just won.

“It’s so great to win the bowl championship game or whatever it’s called,” said quarterback Matt Flynn. “It means we’re the…best team in the country, right? Or at the very least it means we were the best team to play in this series. Only one team in the nation can say that, and it's us. Yea! We are the winner of the BCS championship thingie!”

Flynn said that they thought they were the best team in the nation all year round, and Monday’s victory sort of proved it.

continue reading....


Jaguars Blame Officials For Upcoming Loss Against Patriots

FOXBORO--The Jacksonville Jaguars, bitterly disappointed about their upcoming loss against the Patriots, today blamed the officials for the loss, saying they will “hand the game to the Patriots” and “clearly want them to win.”

One player, defensive end Paul Spicer, even called it “the worst officiated game” he will ever see.

“Saturday’s game is going to be a joke,” Spicer said. “Those refs are going to hand the game to the Patriots. My God, what will they be thinking with that phantom holding call in the third quarter? There will be barely any contact on that play.”

Almost to a man, Jaguars players insisted that the league is biased in favor of the Patriots.

“Oh the league definitely wants the Patriots to win,” said defensive end Bobby McCray. “You can tell. Every call goes their way. There are going to be something like five pass interference calls made against us Saturday that are going to be total bullshit. It’s going to be the worst officiating ever! I don’t care if I get fined for saying this, either. I don’t even think I can get fined for it, since the game hasn’t actually happened yet.”


continue reading....

Takin it back....my favorite slow jamz from the 90's

What's up all my sexy ladies out there! let me hear ya...... I am going to slow this post down and take it back in the day and post my favorite slow jamz for the nineties. For all that know me, Dory Belcher, A.K.A Murder Inc. loves three things in life

Ladies at the club that are not straight out trippin.........Triple Sec and Pomegranate...........and Honda Civics!

So here are my favs-

R. Kelly - Bump 'n Grind remix

Why it's dope-

(lookie here) See i know just what you want and i know just what you need girl
so baby bring your body to me(bring your body here) im not fooling around with
you baby my love is true with you with you is where i want to be i want to be
girl you need someone someone like me to satisfy your every need.

Ginuwine - So Anxious

Why it's dope-

Said as soon as you hit the door,
I'ma pull you down on the floor
And before we get to touch the bed,
Baby back up every word you said
And before we get to hit the lights
And before we start the candelights
Baby girl, I wanna bump and grind
This is something that is on my mind

Keith Sweat - Nobody

Why it's dope-

And who can love you like me (nobody)
Who can sex you like me (nobody)
Who can treat you like me now, baby (nobody)
Nobody, baby (nobody)
And who can do it like me (nobody)
And who can give you what you need (nobody)
Who can do you all night long (nobody)
Nobody, baby (nobody)

Silk - Freak Me

Why it's dope-

love the taste of whipcream
Spread it on don't be mean
(baby don't be mean)
You know I can't resist you girl
I'll fly you all around the world
(all around the world, oh baby)
I wanna make your body drip
C'mon let me take a sip
(c'mon, c'mon, c'mon)
Take off what you cherish most
(c'mon,c'mon, come on, come on baby)
Cuz when I brag I like to brag and boast