Apparently Friday Night Lights is for the Hereditary Elite

I wasn't able to catch the show last night with Bob Cost(ass) and Buzzsaw Bissinger, but I was able to catch up on some video from TNIAAM and The Idiots. As I listen to Axe's show right now I realize that "Now more than ever" I am actually proud to be writing a blog that nobody reads about sports that "has little, or no inherent value".

As a sports fan and someone who has played organized (and unorganized: beer league softball) sports my entire life, I was amazed by the brass balls of Buzz Bissinger's comments last night. We are talking about sports people....Not Health Care, Not Terrorism, Not Disease. It is the so-called high brow of journalists, ie. Buzz Bissinger, Michael Wilbon, Skip Bayless, Colin Cowterd, that think there is some sort of schematic to articulate about a sport's opinion?

I admit that this blog has an inherent juvenile slant to the sports community. I am a 33 year old professional that takes my work, friends and family very serious. Guess what, if I photoshop a mustache on Jorge Posada and post a picture of him with a bottle of Boone's farm in a hot tub with 3 Armenian field hockey players don't read it!


With that being said, here are some drunk chicks.......

Callahan pulled out his dirty Harry and laid them all down!

What's up with (Hot)lanta Dirty Harrying with the Big Three and the Celtics. I am not an avid NBA fan (I may watch like 3-4 games all year during the regular season) but I am digging these Hawks, post Dominique Wilkins....Yeah, I am old

After getting blown out twice in Boston, Josh Smith and the Hawks seemed to take out all their frustrations on a 66-win Boston Juggernut team that finished 29 games ahead of eighth-seeded Atlanta during the regular season. When the buzzer sounded, streamers fell from the ceiling of Philips Arena as if the home team had just won the NBA championship, or the Strip Clubs in Buckhead were offering an "All you can eat Buffet."

The Hawks, who went 37-45 during the regular season, are still huge underdogs. But for one night at least, Smith -- a former NBA dunk champion -- was pulling his best Harold Miner impersonation rockin the rim.

What do you get when you take an NBA highlight tape and add Zamfir, "Master of the Pan Flute" as the backdrop? You get this......

This has got to be the gayest highlight tape ever!

Arizona Jeans Company is a safe, boring option for young teen clothing....and Links

• A nice little weekly from General Tao....Food Court Lunch

• Karl Malone, Father of the Year?....Deuce of Davenport

• Can you shake your Poak Shop?....Cousins of Ron Mexico

• Myley Cyrus likes her men pretty big....Thunder Matt's Saloon

• The NFL Draft is overrated, I agree....Holy Balls

*About no Syracuse players in the draft. Did we really expect we would get any guys in there? I think Taj and Jameel will have an outside shot at slipping on a roster, but we have to face reality with where we are right now. Axe was right that next year looks grim as well, but it is what it is.....

• You can tell your in SEC Country if your truck has Balls....Uncoached

Where in the World is Big Country Bryant Reeves?

In his college years at Oklahoma State, Bryant Reeves was an imposing physical presence, with a crafted goatee and towering over his opponents at 7’0”, 275lbs. In 1995, his OSU Cowboys went all the way to the Final Four (before bowing out to Ed O’Bannon, George Zidek and Tyus Edney at UCLA). It wasn’t long before the “great big man drought of 97” had GM’s running to sign anyone over 6’11”, and Bryant Reeves, with an impressive college career and tourney run, would get called up by the then Vancouver Grizzlies. *The Canadian Vancouver

Where in the world is Bryant Reeves now? He has been spotted running shifts at a variety of Applebees in Tulsa and even on the basketball courts of his former Junior High School back in Oklahoma.

Check out this 1995 dig on "Big Country" by Michelle Tafoya. Holy shit, was 1995 Oklahoma, 1984 Indiana? His Dad's stache is classic in this video

Manningham is HIGH to be a Giant

Mario Manningham is high happy to be a New York Giant. The former University of Michigan wide receiver with a third round supplemental pick, 95th overall and only five picks from the end of the round. Manningham had been projected as a first-round pick before character issues, ie. smoking a lot of weed, and a slow time at the NFL combine hurt his stock.

Here is a Q and A from earlier today from Jim Carty of the Ann Arbor News:

Q: What was your feeling when you were drafted?
A: I was just happy knowing that it is the New York Giants, the Super Bowl champs. You can't ask for anything better than that.

Q: Did you have hopes of going much earlier than you did?
A: I mean the draft is crazy every year. You just have to relax and when your name gets called you just have to be ready.

Q: Can you talk about your off-field situation and how it may have affected your draft stock?
A: The past is the past. It happened. I mean, hey. I'm just excited to play. I mean, the off the field issues, that's really not nothing, I mean whatever every one's talking about or whatever. I mean, I'm just ready to play. I'm not really thinking about the past. I mean, the past is the past. I'm ready to just come in and make our team better.

Q: Were you aware of how many rookies contributed for the Giants last season?
A: No, I am not.

Q: All eight picks played; do you think you can make that kind of impact?
A: I think I can come in and make my team better and help my team win.

Q: What do you remember about your visit with the Giants at Giants Stadium?
A: Like I was telling Coach Sullivan, I love it. When I came up there he was just explaining to us how the system was. He showed us around real nice. I like the facility and the players seem to be nice.

Q: Which players did you talk to?
A: I don't remember the players' names, we just went down to the locker room and everyone was just talking, everyone was just cool in the weight room. It was like a different bond from other teams that I went to. New York is all about business.

Q: Did you welcome the chance to tell your side of the story to the Giants about your off the field issues?
A: I talked to the Giants when I was at the combine and I talked to them when I went to visit them. I let them know what was going on and stuff. Evidently they believed in me just like I believe in me and they went and picked me.

Q: How much do you think your past problems hurt your draft status as the draft went on?
A: Like I told you, you never know what can happen because some players that they had going early, they didn't go early, and some players they had going late didn't go late. I am just thankful to get drafted. I am just thankful to be in the position that I am in, playing for the Super Bowl champions and trying to make a return there next year.

Van Halen rocks the Tiger Jam.....Diamond Dave crashes Tigers Buick Regal

Via (VanHalen.com)
"We are here to listen to one of the greatest bands in history. It is my honor to introduce you to VAN HALEN!"

These words came courtesy of golf legend Tiger Woods as he announced the band at Tiger Jam XI, a fundraising event April 19 at Mandalay Bay Events Center that helped raise more than $1.5 million for the Tiger Woods Foundation.

Seconds later, the trademark hard rock eruption that's VAN HALEN was in full swing. And for two hours, Eddie, Dave, Alex and Wolfgang kept the event's energy and vigor at maximum velocity.
" In all, VAN HALEN offered a great evening..," reported Rolling Stone. "Everybody won - which in Vegas is normally an impossibility."

Apparently after the show, Diamond Dave borrowed Tiger's 2006 Buick Regal and slammed into a fountain. Witnesses stated Roth jumped out of the car, Jack Daniels in hand, and did a flaring windmill roundhouse kick and scooted off into the night. No formal charges were filed.

East Carolina representing in Round 1 of the NFL Draft

With the 24th pick of the draft, the Tennessee Titans selected Chris Johnson of East Carolina!

I think this surprised the shit out of everybody! As an East Carolina alumni, I knew he was great, but the rest of the country is probably like, WTF?....Who is Chris Johnson? *He did run a 4.25 at the combine, the fastest of anyone.

At 197 pounds, there are concerns about Johnson's ability to take the kind of pounding NFL running backs endure. He's also not a great between the tackles and has had fumble issues. His biggest strengths are his speed and versatility; Johnson can line up in the backfield or motion out to the slot. His rare speed (4.24) makes him a home run threat regardless of where he lines up. Johnson can also make an impact in the kickoff return game.

I don't follow the Titans and not a big fan of anything SEC country, but good luck Chris!

Bad Guy from Karate Kid 2 is still kicking it, literally.

Via: (Uncoached)

His name is Yuji Okumoto and for the record this guy is the absolute man. I’ll never forget seeing Karate Kid 2 and being so devastated when he kept picking on poor Daniel San.
Actually wait, it was pretty damned funny now that you think about it.

And come on! Like Ralph Macchio could kick this guy’s ass? Yuji was the man back then. Totally ripped and he wore incredible button downs and slacks. Anyway, Yuji’s actually been in lots of movies. If you haven’t seen Aloha Summer I highly recommend it. Currently Yuji still acts, is a restaurant owner and word is, he’s a great guy.

By the looks of the lady company he has, not too shabby on the women front either!

Did Tony Danza? Alyssa Milano is a Sports Blogger

I will excuse the Poison Ivy thing.






One of my biggest crushes ever was on Alyssa Milano. I even put her in my Top 5 right now. I know she went through her Poison Ivy stage, but she rebounded and is back to being one smoking hot laaaaaady. Now, to find out the she is a baseball enthusiast is even better! She even has her own Dodger baseball blog.

I know she has dated some baseball dudes in the past, but apparently she really didn't date Josh Becket......

Check this out-


Dear sports media world,

I have never dated Josh Beckett nor was he ever an “ex-flame”. Please fact check. You are journalists, not bloggers.

Thank you,

Alyssa Milano

Peace,
Love,
AND BASEBALL,
Alyssa

Are you black, mormon and single? Yep, me too.

Black Jesus, Dynamite!



















Black Mormons Rock........

via:(Black Mormon Singles)

Coming from a guy that met his first Jewish homeboy in college, I admit I am out of touch with New Finagled Religions. Wink! I really wasn't sure about black mormons though. I see them on the football field at BYU and Utah games, but I figured they were there for the full ride, and couldn't be legit mormons.....hmmmm?

Take some of my favorite lines from this site-

Welcome to Black Mormon Singles!
There's good news and bad news!
Good news....there are 20,000 black Mormons in the U.S. and Canada.
Bad news....they are scattered about quite widely.

Being a black mormon must suck, being so disheveled from other brethren.

The best way to find other active single black Members to date is....
1) To advertise in LDS singles websites.
2) To move to where there are concentrations of Black Latter-day Saints.
3) Move to Ghana. (Duh!)
Those are your choices if you wish to date single black Members. (The only choices?)

What about black scientologists? How many are scattered about?

Areas With High Black Mormon Populations (North America)
If you are INTENT on finding a single black Mormon for marriage, then here are areas where there are a descent amount of active black Mormons:
1) Black Student Union, Brigham Young University, Provo Utah. About 200 black single Mormons; most under 30.
2) Capitol Hill Branch, Washington D.C.
3) Atlanta Ward, Atlanta Georgia
4) Various Detroit Michigan branches within the city
5) Southwest Los Angeles Branch, Los Angeles California (Inglewood Stake).
6) Harlem Branch, Manhattan, New York City
7) Oakland 9th Branch, Oakland California.
8) Salt Lake Valley (Genesis Group of Utah)


Granted, most Christians believe any non-Christian is going to hell, but Mormons take it to a whole new level. Not only are all non-Christians going to hell, but any non-Mormons, too. That’s right, while I’m burning in hell for all eternity for not choosing to marry 30 wives and show a disdain for black people (check out some of the mormon excerpts in the bible), at least I’ll be able to hang out with Mother Theresa and every single Pope who ever lived. Oh, and Jesus and all of his disciples, as well.....That's if only I believed right?


*If I offended anyone with this post.....my bad.

What if Mike Hart transfered to Ohio State...? Degeneration Hart

Via: (Detroit Free Press)

Traitor? Justin Boren transfers to Ohio State in 'unprecedented' move

Some Michigan fans might call him traitor. Ohio State fans might call him a hero.

Former Michigan offensive lineman Justin Boren, who left Michigan in mid-March citing a "decline of family values" under coach Rich Rodriguez, has transferred to Ohio State. Boren started all of last season at center and left guard for Michigan.Ohio State coach Jim Tressel confirmed the transfer to the Columbus Dispatch."It's exciting to be coming back home to central Ohio," Boren, who just finished the spring semester at Michigan, said in a statement through Tressel. "I am looking forward to the chance to help the Buckeyes continue their excellence in any way I can."

continue reading story here.....


Okay, "declining of family values?" You leave one of the most prolific football and educational institutions in the country and head to a state school known for looting, pilaging and rampid fire settings of Columbus cop cars for major wins and losses is a moral code move for you? That would be like Johnny Flynn transfering over to Georgetown because coach Boeheim is Ornary all of the time.

Here is a snapshot of what I mean.......



oh, and another one.....

Lou Score's Movie Pick for all of you Beer League Players and Fans!

Hey Poncho! That was a great love poem to the beloved institution known as the American Beer League. For those of you who share Poncho & Lou's sense of dumb, drunken humor, you will love Artie Lange's Beer League - click here. I have personally watched this movie several dozen times, and I was past .04 every time, probably past .08 for most of them. Here's some clips. Enjoy with a nice cold refreshing can of Piel's Light-Dry-Draught-Ice! -Lou Score

Beer League coed softball is the Tits..

Holy Christ I love Summer!

Well, summer is almost here and that means one thing, beer league softball! It's a time where ex-jocks, nerds, slackers, chicks, old men, wanderers come to play their favorite pastime. An organized sports venue in which participants focus their efforts on both the event at hand and the post and pre-game cermonies which include large consumptions of alcoholic beverages. (preferrably Busch Light, Ham's, Utica Club, Bud Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Genny Creme Ale, labatt Light, Natural Light, Keystone, Miller light, Bud Light.....All in can format) Generally, these athletes take their involvement way too seriously, comparing themselves to professional athletes and reminiscing the Good Ole' Days of High School Glory.

Guys pull up rockin some Loverboy with the T-tops off so the ladies know he just got off his shift, and he is ready to hit some bombs to deep left. He preferably has coaches shorts on with a long, very long tanktop to show off the rays after a few days roofing up in the North Country. You know how it is.



While waiting for a few other team members to show up he sais, "It's drinking time somewhere right!" While he holds a non-filtered cigarette and asks one of the local gal pals for a light. "Can I get someone to warm me up!" He shouts while he is rounding his arm in circles like a wind fan sitting on top of a hillside. He is ready, and his Pal, Ted from Manny Electric company rolls in with his F150 jackin some GodSmack. "Yeah Muther fucker, the big man is here."

Laughs, taunts, smokes abound during this glory time of the pre-game of beer league softball. Apparently they are playing some "college fags" that have a few gamers today. Teddy might have to play left today because a few of those college fags apparently played ball while they were at school. Well, time has come and the hour to knock the ball around the dirt is here. Fuck yeah!

Links....Apply directly to the Forehead

Strong as an ox fresh out the box.
The crowd is so live they're coming in flocks.

• Sucks to be a 30 yr old running back in the NFL, Ask Shaun Alexander....Uncoached

• The (real) difference between Syracuse and UCLA....withleather

• John Mayer has some serious skin funk....Popsugar

• Can the 76's.....86 the DETRROIT WHAT! Pistons?....CuseAdelphia

• Bloggers aren't really journalists? Or are they?....Fynal Cut

• Norwegian Viking Metal Band rocks a bunch of Kindergartners....CNNSI

• Chaka Khan...Chaka Khan...Chakakkaka Khan will play the Syracuse Jazz Fest....Syracuse.com

Canadien Shenanigans.....and Canadian Shenanigans

Montreal Police say 16 people have been arrested after riotous Hockey celebrations swept through downtown Montreal late Monday night, leaving a trail of burned police cars and vandalized shops. Ironically the popular Titty Bars weren't aware of the wreckless violence outside of their doorsteps.

A burned police cruiser sits in downtown Montreal. You know how Canadians feel about their local Police Cruisers! At least five whole and one half (yep, those bastards only got the rear end.) police cars were torched and others were vandalized, long after most of a massive crowd had dispersed after celebrating the Canadiens' playoff victory.
Thousands rushed to the streets for initially peaceful celebrations with the standard stilt walking, fire breathing carnie types and a variety of faithful riding the Teams favored Unicycles following the Montreal Canadiens' seventh-game win over the Boston Bruins, which advances Montreal to the next round of the NHL playoffs.


The jubilation degenerated into mayhem around midnight, however, as some hockey fans turned violent a dark creature was seen menacing around the backdrop of the Montreal skyline. see: Cloverfield(2008)
Ironically a small riot broke out in Trudi, Iowa after the Three City Stalkers of the NIABA Basketball Federation won the East League Division. The local Sears Hardware was broken into and 2 circular saws and three Strip-Rod Ball Joints were apparently found missing. Towns folk also saw some hot rodders blazing the local streets throwing gum wrappers.


Oh Yeah, I found the hidden plans on how to actually invade Canada......

So.. Derek, what do you when you have a rare day off?

'Well, Lou, I do the same things that most regular guys do. I get a little lawn work done, or maybe tackle a project around the house. Then, I go for a stroll on the beach, pick up a half dozen hot young chicks or more, and then take them for a ride on my yacht. If I feel that I need a little more rest, I'll just pick out one super-smokin' hot chick, call my agent to score me some court side seats and take her to see a basketball game. Really Lou, I just do what I can to keep myself grounded.' - "Wow, Derek. Who knew that you really are just like the rest of us. Well, enjoy the rest of your day off, and good luck tomorrow!" -Lou Score

Something frightening. Something strange. Something different.

I realize I am a little late to comment on what was "Orange Spring Football", but I have to give my 2 pence nun the richer on this one. It was a truly eery site to see what the festivities set hold to the dome that beautiful spring day.

To quote the immortal Ray Bradbury:

"It seems to be just another carnival at first, but it is not before long
that the forces of darkness themselves are manifesting from the haunting
melodies of the carousel-which can change your age depending on which way you
ride it-and the glaring Mirror Maze."

Behind the nerf antics and Neanderthal punt catching was this strange reminder that we went back in time, to say maybe 2005? Nothing to see, watch, surprise of shock (er)? What were we supposed to see or learn from this team during the spring game?

With Coach Robinson's collection of freaks and oddities, such as the Ginger haired quarterback, Mr.Dynamo Max Suter, and the boozin buddy Paul Chiara , GROB intends to take control of the Dome and seize more innocent souls and Syracuse supporters to damn. It will take all the wit and hope of a young, strong running back core to save this team , with aid from an unlikely ally-Rob Longs Foot, the resident punter, who understands more than anyone else that "something Orange this way comes."


Ok, I just scared myself into weirdom.......maybe a few drunk Asian chicks?

GOD IS A YANKEE FAN!!

As if we didn't know already, the Big Guy loves the Bronx Bombers.. More championships than any other team in any sport in the entire world. As the Pope addressed the New York faithful, not only did he confirm that God favors our boys in the pinstripes, he added that even Jesus hates the Red Sux! The Pope added that in spite of the Church's stance on homosexuality, he will not call for the dissolution of the Mets. -Lou Score

BEST.VIDEO.EVER.

As we were doing some research for our Top Ten Sport Montages of All-Time list, we ran across a video that is hands down, one of my favorite's ever. Since all of TheSportHumper's have just crossed the 30 yr old mark, and we are now full time VH1'ers, we may have missed the explosion of this band and video...


Here is the synopsis-

Take a grown up Johnny from Cobra Kai who is down on his luck and living in the past, Mr. Belding from Saved By The Bell serving pizza at a local parlor, and Ralph Macchio looking sassier than ever and you have No More Kings, Sweep the Leg.

Japanese Baseball team forfeits after falling behind 66-0 in the second inning....Mayhem ensues!

After letting 66 runs through 2 innings of play, Kawamoto Technical Highschool players were forced into tribal Test-of-Strength rituals following their teams forfeit. The coach of Kawamoto technical high school threw in the towel to spare his pitcher's arm with his team losing 66-0 with just one batter out in the bottom of the second.

The Kwamot Pitcher threw 250 pitches, allowing 26 runs in the first inning and 40 in the second before Kawamoto asked for mercy, and then had to beg for mercy during the grueling tribal ritual examination. This is absolutely fabulous!